More of You

When I sit in the silence of my room, sharing with You all my problems and concerns; my joys and my desires, You listen attentively and You hear every word I speak. When I lift up my hands in worship and cry from the bottom of my heart, "I want more of you Lord!" You are pleased and draw nearer to me. When I express my feelings of doubt and my unbelief time after time, You are patient with me and understanding, You assure me that You're there. When I go through the dry spells and wonder if I'll ever experience You again, I desperately call out, "Give me more of You Jesus!" You have compassion and touch my heart, restoring the love and peace that the enemy had stolen away. But then I come to realize that after all those times I spent with You, I left little room for You to speak. Whenever I lifted my hands to worship You, I did it out of emotion, taking away the true value of worship. I wasn't doing it for You, I was doing it for me. Focusing more on the music than on Your worthiness to be praised. When I always complained about my doubts and wouldn't just cling to Your word, when I grumbled that I couldn't feel You anymore, You never stopped being true to your word and Your promises. When I spend so much time wondering why I don't "feel" You, it's when You are the closest. I spend my days longing to be close to You, and experience You, but I shudder at knowing I need to change. I remain selfish day after day ignoring Your own concerns for me. And yet I still cry out without listening first. When I suddenly realized my problem... All the while I was asking for more of You; You had been asking for more of ME! I had missed the entire concept of the Christian faith... I must become lesser, You must become greater. For only when I give You more of me... will I have more of You.

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