Why is life so hard? (soar to freedom)

Why is life so hard?

Too many times I have opened my heart

Only to have it ripped apart

No matter how hard I seem to try

I look in the mirror and I just want to die…

My soul aches

My heart quakes

I'm just another ant in the grass

Hidden behind thousands

Trying not to be last…

Searching for food

For the queen who controls me…

And all I want is to be set free

I work all day and work all night

I'm starving for love that might

Someday fall upon my lap

And fill this void this widened gap

Inside my shell

It burns like hell

How can I escape from this wretched anthill?

No one even knows that I exist

If I were to die I wouldn't be missed

And then…

My heart begins to untwist

I'm unfamiliar with this emotion

What is the notion,

of this man who looks my way?

Surely He can't like me - I'm a horrid display…

I hide my face, my heart, myself

Who is He, to care for this elf?

He'll only hurt me and throw me aside

As soon as He's through He'll destroy my pride

Once and for all

Down I'll fall…

My innocence…

My existence…


Then suddenly He comes to where I am

Reaches out and holds my hand

He speaks silent words through his eyes

He will never forsake me nor despise

He died on a cross to save me from corruption

And free me from the Queen's seduction

I don't have to be an ant anymore

I can be free like a bird and soar

Soar to the Heavens…

To acceptance…

to freedom…

To my God

who set me free...

©2002 All Rights Reserved.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

What in the whacky world is this poem about? you ask... It's about me, my life. The way it was before I met Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. Before I was merely an ant, confined to repeating every single day of my life, searching for "food" or something to fill that emptiness... trying to survive... and to break free from the "QUEEN" or the depression that controlled me... and then I met Jesus. Who helped me escape, and can help you escape too!

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Carrie Vatiere's picture

So many people have felt like this, but it is so hard to give yourself to God. It's so hard to lay down and give him control some people would just rather live their lives for themselves with them in control rather than give it to anybody.
I loved this poem because right now I'm indecisive about what road to travel. To god or down the path that leads by my rules. Thank you for allowing me to associate to your words.