Blessed With A Curse

Through my sanity am I driven insane,
Images of her in my mind a bittersweet stain.
Ive embraced this cancer with open arms,
Immune to the lies, yet addicted to her charms.
Ive tried to move past what I cant leave behind,
Searching for happiness yet confusion I continue to find.
These questions I have slip away,
Knowing the answers would only cause me to fall further astray.
Pushing her away only makes me miss her more,
Yet feeling her beside me makes me shiver to the core.
This evil feeling dwells deep within,
Its called love, and it wears me thin.
This mental torture is worth it in the end,
When I see her smile and know shes forever my friend.

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ashes_twisted's picture

To struggle or fight vigorously?

That is so sad...

The irony is that I also have this problem.

I enjoy the time I have when with, but as the day reaches an end my heart it trembles with frailty, and I have to work that much harder to patch up the hole .. to mend and strengthen it.

I chose this path though.
I continue to put up with it.
All for what?
Love to me should not be this hard, but noone said that it would be easy either.

I guess I just have not found my resolve.

So I ask .. "To struggle or fight vigorously?"

My answer I do a little bit of both.
I am after all only human.
We all are.

You can only hold on for so long, or just let go ..

I'm stubborn .. I struggle by fighting.

In the end I do hope everything works out. -.^

"We are, Each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another." -Luciano De Crescenzo

ashes_twisted's picture


“There is a limit to the amount of misery and disarray you will put up with, for love, just as there is a limit to the amount of mess you can stand around a house. You can’t know the limit beforehand, but you will know when you’ve reached it. “ -Alice Munro

You seem more limitless though. I find myself in a similar position. How far will we go to keep the love we fought so hard for? How far can we go that which thy love lets us pass? That which thy love lets us in? I reached my limit and still kept strive, but be careful though its not a place to tread lightly.

Though probably you already know this.

To struggle or fight vigorously?

Beautifully written.

"We are, Each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another." -Luciano De Crescenzo

nkorinko's picture

Thank you. I wrote this after

Thank you. I wrote this after recently spending a few days with a friend of mine. She knows how I feel about her, I know how she feels about me, but were not together simply for the fact we both have to much going on in our lives for a real relationship to work. I noticed that when Im not with her, shes all I think about but as soon as I am with her i feel like im going to go insane. I know that for now we are only friends and to have her visit with me, stay the night with me, cuddle and kiss me makes my stomach twist inside because I know when everything is said and done I still dont have her.

The only problem with the story carved on your chest, is its hard to read when your missing your ribs..