Random me?

In the world that we live in something is wrong but no one can see it, people need to wake up to the world that we live in. Maybe smoke a mountain of pot, that's what I done, now I have a brain that's rotten away from weed and cocaine. That shit made my bad feelings go away, of course I'm going to do a gram a day. Whiskey drinking, shot after shot, drinking the whole bottle on my own. Coz at home that's where I dint want to be, if I was, no one would even take notice of me. 

Don't think the same no more, who do I blame, maybe the fame of being a dealer made me change lanes in life. Dealing drugs and involved in crime by the age of 16, skipped college and learnt some street knowledge instead. This went on, till I was 26 with no money, in debt no where to live. Left with a life to try to fix, help from my family was no where to be seen. 


See my life heading towards the drain, trying to go the other direction but just can't, getting sucked in to dealing again. Trying to fight it but still getting betrayed, by these so called family and friends, there's no one to trust no more. Thinking this is some kind of game, wot can I say, lets fucking play, I have all day, nothing to do but go insane, with that craziness I live day to day. 

Going to bed wishing that life would get a bit easier and maybe I would start receiving. Waking up with that feeling like nothing has changed, just feel like to grab the gun and bang, at least if I did! I would know for sure, that the problem In my life has been solved. 


I have gave up simply because I don't understand? Not life it self but the people around. confused themselves, acting blind and dumb. Distractions that are put in front of them are the main cause. Always thinking about themselves and gossiping about others life's, they like help but don't like to give it. Earning money just to spend it on shit they don't need, following a trend no matter the cost, all you guys have been brain washed.


Government that's who's to blame, putting fear into your brain. Controlling our life from day to day, using media to enslave. A population that once had the rage! They would fight for the things they believed in. Now everyone just acts strange, guess no one in this world is that brave to use there brain. Lets get controlled, by a government we don't even know or trust, now that's insane. You can put the blame on me if you must, just because I see, the truth is hidden in the past. Look far back and you will see, find the hidden leaders of time that will be your key. Opening you eyes is what you really need, for you to be happy and be able to succeed.


You must use your brain by your own, stop getting controlled by all that's going on in the world. Have you own imagination flow, you will think differently by your own! Until you realise everything is a lie. That is when you will undress from that disguise, then only can we see the truth behind them eyes.


Everyday drinking and smoking weed as come regular for me, trying to kill these memories, before they hurt me, before they take me down to my knees, oh god help me please, show me the way to be happy, if not just bury me now. Never have I had to say this, but i need to be free, live my life the way it's meant to be, do what I want to do without someone judging me, see wot I want to see, not stuck here in this life on repeat.


Feeling stressed just because of the money earning, just so I can get something to eat, minimum wage wot the fuck is this? Slavery, it still much exists. Just in the way we can not see... Dont even know where Im going with this, think I just had to release these words In the back of me head. Maybe it's because I'm bored or dead?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Comment pls and rate if u understand.

allets's picture

Freedom of Spirit

Such thinking leads to liberated ideas and a soul that sees beyond the hype. I did some deep thinking earlier this evening and several of the things I pondered was control methods: police, family values, god concepts, laws (your "government") and traffic lights. Consumerism goes with capitalism and the republic would fall without it. Conclusion: Good or ill, I would not want to live in a country without such constraints or freedoms. Here, if you don't like it, do something else or change it. Reckonings are corrections that happen violently here and we are all responsible if mute. And so, I write. - Lady A