Marching Through the Night

Dark is the night that covers us from head to toe,
Sad are the sins that we have just come to know,
And as we march through the darkness the stars shine amongst us,
If to bestow their celestial light, upon our solemn rows
We pray to the lord,
That Deaths heavy sword will not soon fall
That Fate will not soon shout it's final call
So that we may be able to march once again, through the night
To the sad, sad cadence that percuss in every soldiers weary soul.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

do you like? or dislike?
i really wish more people would comment on these poems, so i know if they suck or not ;]

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SSmoothie's picture

Now this reads beautifully and a great poem!

Welcome to the top of the class my dear! Congratulations sincerely SS oh PS the grapheme I got it it's row as in Lined up in a row respecting the dead type thing... Marvelous!


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

MyinsecureSelf's picture

Feed back please! i don't

Feed back please! i don't care if its just a comment saying "like" or "dislike"
i neeeed to know if its somewhat good, thanks!

SSmoothie's picture

It's really good!

I one slightly similar called veil so yeah my cup of tea definately, if there's one bad criticism it's all the ands they are not necessary :) and if you return the lines at the times you want the reader to pause slightly it becomes a much better easier physical read! Keep up the great work yeah it's good! Cheers SS


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

MyinsecureSelf's picture

thanks! the feedback was very

thanks! the feedback was very helpful =] and it helped me fix my poem

SSmoothie's picture

Oh one more thing

Is that solmn row supposed to be vow? Cause row is a fight and vow is a promise both work well it's just which are you choosing? Thanks SS


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am