Giving Up

They don't know it
but when I utter
"Good morning"
it's a bold-faced lie.


Most nights
I go to sleep wishing,
praying desperately
that I won't wake up.


Every morning,
the alarm reminds me
of the bitter reality
that I don't
control my destiny.


Each day
I'm just waiting to die,
thinking of ways to
take my life into my hands
but cowardly backing out.


I know some would
call it "selfish"
to kill myself,
but I sometimes life
in my head is unbearable.


And the fear of
that the future holds
the same as the past
or worse yet,
is too much to handle.


I don't want to be
in this skin anymore;
I want to change but I can't
and it's so much easier
to just give up.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Inspired by: "Much Like Falling" by Flyleaf

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