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Rainforest of a Kiss
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Romanticism I have wandered deep
into the rain forest of your kiss.
Totally unprepared, no rations; I
brought not even a primative map.
I know there's no way out
for me except by a prayer,
though you know the way.
And so in time you'll wonder,
as I follow your alluring form,
whether I'm in hot pursuit
or seeking my escape to something more?
Today, I cannot say
but meanwhile I'll wonder
whether desire to keep a man adorned
is why we lock lips all hours?
Pressed against me you reach around my waste and lock out the world.
Rising up, then, and - seductively with scizzors
snipping the bridge of your brazierre right before my vision
like you were cutting down trees around the edge of the Amazon,
building a new wonder of the world or a natural Great Wall?
You know we have wandered too deep
into the rainforest of a kiss.
Totally unprepared, no rations; I
suspect, in a sense, you, too
have lost your sense of direction.
From an innovative metaphor
From an innovative metaphor you blazed a trail of fire, honesty and tenderness. I also like the way it circles back, suggesting infinity, limitless passion, a return to the essence of love. Captivating.
Thank you, Patricia, both for
Thank you, Patricia, both for your critique and for sharing what the circular nature of Rainforest of a Kiss presented to you. Your remarks, as always, further feed inspiration.
I applaud the way this poem
I applaud the way this poem develops the metaphor to a very powerful level. I also like the way the last lines double-back to the first lines, like the repetition of a symphony's first theme at the end of the final movement.
Starward
Thank you very much. The
Thank you very much. The (amateur) songwriter in me finds that symphonic repetition you speak of to be quite natural, at times. I like to recast words and have them metamorphosize that way - which, from the feedback you and Patricia have given me, I believe was a success.