A letter to my old-new boyfriend

Folder: 
Love Poems

A year ago, I changed.

No wait! I didn't change

my family life did.

I lost my step father to alcohol.

I lost my mother to a church.

I lost my sense of who I was.

The person I loved

witnessed these changes

but could not comprehend

what had actually happened.

So this is a note to you.

 

First, I finally heard that song

the one called "Fuck you"

about how I hurt you.

And boy do I know I did.

But, there is a lot of things

you never noticed.

It's not for you to understand now,

but I want you to know that

 

Second, I never stopped loving you.

"BUT WHY?! Why did you do it?"

This is the part you couldn't,

and dont ever have to

understand, but

I was scared.

Not of you of course.

You, my love, were my only

sense of security.

But, I was loosing everything else.

Everything in my life changed

in one single instant

and to tell you the truth

I was afraid you would change too.

But instead,

 

I changed for my mother.

I became the person

she though I was to be.

And because of her,

I lost the only thing

that kept me sane.

Baby, I know I broke you,

because I was broken too.

 

For months, I pretended to love a guy

while imagining he was you.

Let's not count the numerous times

I accidently calld him your name,

or the times I cried because I needed you.

Only to watch you

find other girls.

 

I made mistakes.

I ruined both of our lives

and I'm telling you now

because I am not scared anymore.

I know who I am

and what I want to be.

All I really want from life is

your arms around me,

kisses on my lips,

and to be your

forever and always.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I met a guy at a young age and we thought we had it all figured out. But ours lives were changing and things happened. We broke up for a year and a half, after dating for a long time. That year or so went by and both of us changed drastically. We are back together now, but I can't forgive myself for what I did to him. So this is my sort of "please forgive me" note to him. Because I could not be so in love with someone. I thought I had love figured out, and then I met him. And boy now I realise, I will never figure out what love is. But whatever it is, I love this man. I'm so glad he loves me too. <3 

 

P.S. Love always wins!

KindredSpirit's picture

I am happy

That things are looking

So much better for you.

That:s life.

You never know.

It can get better

And it can get worse.

KS

mypersonalpoems777's picture

Very Sincere

I have gone through something similar and I really appreciate how honest and confessional you are.


Nicholas Dulepski