Trapped inside my wall

I can not see the outside anymore

I feel like the outside is no longer an option

I feel like I will be inside this wall for all of my life

I look up and see a mountiian but can't see the top

I feel as if I am climbing an ever losing battle

and I will never get to the top

I feel like I am at the bottom but the bottom is the top

or the top is the bottom and I will never move again

I feel like the heat of the day can no longer warm me

It feels so firgid in here.

I can feel death a knocking, but can find a door to let him in

I can not even find a window to let in some sunshine..

I know it is shining, but I can not feel its warmth

nor do I feel your strong arms around me anymore

I feel so alone in a crowed room

Lots of people around but I can not hear them, nor can I sense they are here with me

I know this sounds absurd but what Can I do..

I have tried to explain I feel dead on the insdie.

I feel nothing but empty space

I see you standing at the crossroads, but I can not hear you call out my name

I can see you holding your arms out, but I can not move towrads you..

Some wall is there and I can not get the strength up to knock it down.

I want to.. Oh how badly I want to knock it down.

I want to feel your arms around me

but I am scared of letting anyone behind my wall again

I am scared of letting you get trapped in here again

You love me. this I know, but how can i love myself

If I can not find me???

Author's Notes/Comments: 

jsut a feeling of being trapped again

View ladydragus's Full Portfolio
Abbey Reeder's picture

Very powerful poem hun.....I can feel your pain because I have been here so many times and still here, at the moment.

Hang in there, I know how it feels, how much it hurts, how you just don't want to let anyone in, that you have built this wall up to keep yourself safe and to keep all the hurting and all the bad people out.