When I Am FREE

I’ve held on long enough

No longer bold no long tough

Life is rough

Life is sad

Life is something

I wish I never had

To be nonexistent

To not be missed

To have no worries

To kill myself

A myth?

Because I still exist

I’m still here

I’m still crying

I still have fear

I still don’t understand

I still don’t have a reason

Why I want death

Why am I still pleading

To disappear, even if I burn

It’s better than here

I’ll already know what to behold

Instead of going through life

Waiting to be told

When I’ll meet my death

I’ll go when I’m ready

Cheated destiny because I left

As my life cheated me

Showing me things that I would never be

Making me feel wanted

When no one really loved me

Fooled me, used me


This so called test

Life is a blessing

But death is rest

Death gives you peace

Death gives you silence

Death is to go free

Death is what I’m searching for

Death is what I want to be

To have my peace that is all

When I am fee

I shall search no more  

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem was written when I was 17 years old. This was a very dark period in my life. As I look back I know I magnified my problems, and the only logical solution at that time to me was death.

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