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My dream girl



Flowers planted in a mound

while tears fell to the ground.

All for the girl i never knew.

The beauty in my dreams,

a love so true.



There is no body buried here,

she is lost to me i fear.

That fateful day

in which i may

have taken the devils

last drink.



All the memories

good or bad

even the heavenly times we had.

wiped out because i got dumb

not thinking about

all the consequenses of my drinking

that were to come.



Crashing into traffic

flying through the air

my scars were nothing

to the loss of my past,

the burden i was about to bare.



not giving me the death

of which i now lived in.

the pavement had no mercy

when bashing in my head

and tearing apart my skin.



Yet i survive

and here i am

lying on this bed

nurses and doctors

passing by

not knowing

if

im

dead.



The doctors said i was lucky

and should be happy im alive

but what they just didnt understand

is the person i killed inside.



Home after 2 weeks of hospital care

everything i once knew seemed so vague

or wasnt there. Accept my journal

my own personal thoughts

i began to read until

id found part of what id lost.



I made this

trying to remember you by

wondering if you liked flowers and the blue sky.

But every time a thought comes through

i just cant stop telling myself

that Im the one

who killed you.                                                  



each day im out here

depressed as hell

taking heavy sighs.

praying for your return to me

while remorse streams from,

my eyes...



Forgive me