Happiness isn't mine to have anymore
I leech it
It fills around me
never in
an emotion I hardly remember
ghostly memories remember
washing me with pain.

thoughts of darkness fill emptiness
I hate it
how to and when
then not
I refrain solely for one other
my loss resounds
she'd perish without me

my pain pales to hers anew
she's my sis
her care comes first
holds me
I cannot hurt her any
plans fade away
resolution to plod on

the darkness lurks in the background
waiting for weakness
dark waters rise quickly
always alive
I run back and fall down
no choice again
please don't leave me

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 2/3/11. This was written when I was having a hard time dealing with my S.A.D. I was very depressed and sometimes suicidal, but my little sister kept me going.

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