i suck

High School

What was I thinking...

I don't even want to try, to write, to rhyme,

yet here I am, transcribing my uselessness


All those discarded words

lying like corpses inside these notebooks

death in Microsoft Word folders labeled Dirt

cyber graves I keep digging up

what was I thinking?

I want to run my sharp nails over these pages

snap them in two, hear the crack of my wood guitar

that trys to make love with them, and fails

but they are invisible like their master

I am nothing.  Not smart, determined, talented, or headed somewhere...

What was I thinking?

To believe in myself?

These are faulty letters on a matrix of unreality

and I still return, my widescreen church,

plastic pew bending with the weight of my stupid prayers...

Flat cubicle chuch

for a thousand dollars

Church in a white box

Free calculator

oh pixeled God...

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saiom's picture

Julie, this is a beautiful poem.. full of
interesting metaphors..

yes you suck... like a hummingbird.. in the flowers
of life.. keep on sucking