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The Mountain
I climbed the mountain.
The echoes of my steps:
A i s
f l o b rd
ck of
One punctured the sky
and nested in my brain--
still there, reluctant,
it twitters in my dark silent nights
with the ancient glow of distant stars.
cool. love the movement of this one and the visual!
Way to go Jim, I like this one mucho!! An interesting write!
This is nice, I like the "flock". :)
This poem reminds me of poetry by e.e. cummings, one of my most cherished poets. He also uses typography to convey movement. There's a famous one where a leaf falls. Great!
I like it Interesting use of structure to convey a visual message that corresponds with the image of the poem. :)
Hey,cool poem. I think this is the best one you have posted on here.Have you ever posted at everypoet.com? Check it out.Post in the High critique forum if you do.I'm there. Thanks for the read.@v@
"There is no good writing, only good editing."
Jim, I like your style.A poem is like body language-each movement has a meaning to the poet. The Mountain-like any good poem has a different meaning to different readers. Each can bring hisor her own experences to evoke meaning.
Jim, I can't seem to get this critique sent! Third try. This one spoke volumes to me. Hope this floats into the system.
Interesting trip...thanks.... Jim