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I Am From
I am from WhiteTrash
From Springsteen and Janis Joplin
I am from Marlboro's smoldering in an ashtray
Black smoke filled my lungs like storm clouds in an Oklahoma Spring Sky
I am from her womb, her sick womb
Whose illness I inherit like the debt of a family gambler
I am from his knowledge and patience
I am from his sweet smelling pipe smoke
and record collection
I am from his salt and pepper hair and I have his legs
I am from her anger and spit pools formed in the corners of her mouth
I am from her slaps and hair pulls
I am from both their moments and DNA
I am from both of them and wouldn't have it any other way
I am from
It's not about where you're
It's not about where you're from, but where you intend to be, or become...
Beautifully said ...but our
Beautifully said ...but our past and genes and childhood shape who we are and who we become...with that said, we can also overcome and be the person we want to be ;)
I was really affected by this
I was really affected by this piece, perhaps through mirroring struggles of my own. But I don't do the often except when I feel a piece is nearly perfect, so this may be some unwanted advice feel free to ignore it:
those last few lines seem to change the mood of this great piece. it sort of rips the reader away from the drama in this gripping poem. I would have liked to have seen a more sensitive approach to the last two lines
suggestions: replace DNA with genetics or geneus
Rewrite lines to reflect the restorivtive feel in the poem being proud of what and who you are through this concoction of you. Eg:
I am from each and could not have it any other way even if I could
i am from thier ways.
just suggestions it's still very arty that way as the lines cheapen along with the feel of the poem, but think the restoration is an important undercurrent in this piece and should be brought to the fore with the same spirit as the rest of the poem.
Regardless this is a stand out piece congratulations! Hugss
Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS
"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."
I totally agree...i wanted to
I totally agree...i wanted to and should have spent more time focusing on the restorative qualities of survival and overcoming difficulties...so your critici is truly helpful and appreciated...thanks
You write
You write beautifully!
.............
...and he asked her, "do you write poetry? Because I feel as if I am the ink that flows from your quill."
"No", she replied, "but I have experienced it. "
Tough Moms
Tough moms make tough poets who tell it for true Amen ~~Allets~~