Broken Words

It's funny how you say to me,
'He's such an asshole. He's such a dick.
He treats me like shit and he makes me sick.'
After you say this,
I can't comprehend
why you break up with him
and let the pain come to an end.
But that's just the half.
this is what puzzles me more?
To your face, he says he cares.
To everyone else, he calls you a whore.
I told you he was cheating
and only wanted one thing from you.
then you said you already knew
these were the things he was bound to do.
So please explain to me why
you'd waste your time with this guy
if you knew he'd be this way
and wouldn't change no matter what you say.
And now I'm not sure if I believe you
when you tell me about your plan
of finding a guy who' cares.
A guy who's not afraid to be a man.
A guy who notices the sparkle in your eye,
and makes you forget what it's like to cry.
A guy who wants to see you happy, that's all,
and will always be there to pick you up when you fall.
A guy that you would be something special to.
A guy who wants to nothing more than to be with you.
Stop for a moment and look around.
The guy you search for, has been found.
Open your eyes; you're not blind.
The guy you search for; in me, you'll find.
Everything you want
is everything I am.
But you act ilke you don't care.
It's like you don't hive a damn!
You say you want the good,
but go for the bad
leaving me puzzled and confused.
Leaving me angry and mad.
What am I supposed to do
when I'm 'too nice to sweet'?
Show you that I can be an asshole?
Show you that I can lie and cheat?
Tell you that you are nothing,
nothing more than an easy fuck?
and if it hurts your feelingss,
that's too bad, tough luck .
Should I treat you like dirt?
Not care how you feel?
Not care if you're hurt?
Pretend your pain isn't real?
Should I basically use you
as a simple fuck-and-forget?
Yell, punch, and abuse you ,
and do it all without regret?
But I'm afraid you don't care,
so I refuse to speak another word.
I just wanted to make sure
that my feelings were heard.
And I hope you know
the man you say you want
is standing right here.
But the more you confuse me,
The more I disappear.

-December 7, 2001


Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem is dedicated to all of those who understand what's it's like to be in this position

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Sasha Carter's picture

Man I've been down that road plenty of times. Even watched my friends try to turn hoes into housewives or turn a trick into a treat and ya just can't do it. I've found the best thing to do when you see that path comin is to turn around, find a new direction, and for God's sake don't look back.

KT Kyleen's picture

Recently you have showered me with compliments regarding my poems, but *you* are the mastermind in comparison! Your style, fortunately, provides something new and fresh yet still keeps to good format. I dig that very much. :o) Especially this poem, which definitely gives a different perspective that people tend to neglect or remain ignorant of. I'm sure, though, with your words you provided some insight on the subject, and hopefully have taught a thing or two for someone in a similar situation.

Also to mention, I want to thankyou for your replies to my poems. It made my day. :o) I don't write often, alas, but every now and then I get the urge. And to answer your question: No, I have never had any experience with suicide or anyone attempting it. Half of what I write I can't relate to much. I don't know if that makes me a hypocrite of some sort--it was just something to get out.

This is looking long. I apologize. LoL. To sum up, though, keep up the great work. So far I'm loving what I'm reading. :o)

poetvg's picture

i agree :*)
i know what
it's like to go
thru that because
i have with one of
my exs he didnt listen
to me because the girl
he had feelings for dumped
and used him and i told
him before it HAPPENED .
but he was too stuborn to
listen to me plus she looked
a lot like me but it
was his lose because now hes
lost me for good . for being stupid.