Because of You

I look down at my body,


I see the scars I left,


I see the scars you left.


I see the cigarette burns


There on my fucking ankle


My siblings see those


My friends see those


My parents have seen them.


I wonder if they know that your part of them.


You said you loved me


When my friend put the trigger to his fucking brain,


You were there to heal me,


When my friend popped his last pill,


You were there to dry my eyes

When I told you of losing my virginity at 15,  by my best friend,




but because he forced me too.


You knew!!!


You knew the cuts on my body were from me!


You loved me


Then you fooled me


Then you fucked my brain up


Fucked my life up


I hurt myself because of you


You hurt me


Beat me black and blue


But what hurt the most


The scars on my fucking brain


On my heart


There still there! They will always be there!


At night when I scream in my bed for you to get your fucking hands off me


Then I cry for you?!


Wtf is wrong with me?


I see a gun,


I see pills,


I see my dead friends walking in my dreams


I see my monster touching me


Then I see you.


Your the fucking worst of them all.


You left me!


You broke me!


Now I don't know if I feel.


I just know I miss you,


But not the you now.


The you I miss is long gone he fucking killed himself or at least the drugs did.


This new you. 


He's the devil


He's you. 

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