Something good.. Something Classy

If only I could write about something happy
Something good
Something classy


My immagination has been stripped from me
Stripped of all the good
The good I can no longer see

I wish I could see a fantasy land
And picture little happy fairies landing in my hands
I wish I could close my eyes and imagine a breeze hitting my face
my hair whipping in the wind 
and my toes in the sand
But when I close my eyes
These are not things I see
I see this innocent child 
and several different hands touching me
some lashing out and no where to run
Others touching and feeling
A girl that is far too young
"Where were your parents?"
you kindly ask of me
They were there
but never protecting 
They too, were the hands hitting,
Punching, and choking me out
dragging me by my hair
No one around to hear my shouts
Why didn't anyone save me?
I know someone must of heard my screams
I've been passed around like a joint in a group of old-school hippies
"I wish you were never born! You were a mistake! I wish you would die!" 
All the words from my own mother made my heart ache.
I've lived in many homes and at first they all seemed too go to be true
As the time passed I eventually found out what was hidden behind the truth
These homes were provided by my own very blood
People that were supposed to protect me, show kindess
Family that I'm supposed to be proud of
But instead of being kind and caring 
and showing me true compassion
I was once again, abused.. shown the same actions
My whole life, hurt is all I've ever known
I grew up thinking I have to do everything that I'm told
This is love to me
This is what I know
This is why I'm so fucked up
and why I'm capable of being cold 
I don't know how to share my life with someone even if I wanted to
I'd rather be alone, locked up in my room
I try to get out and step away from my comfort zone
I try to face what I fear the most.. which is the unknown
But before I get the chance
people run away
and then I get confused as to why they've gone astray
I wish someone would understand that it'll take me time
And stay by my side instead of leaving me behind

These little film-like memories play inside my head 
Play like a movie right before bed
A thousand thoughts racing
A million words left unsaid
I try to block them out
And picture good memories instead
My attempts always fail
The bad always wins
I wish I didn't dwell
Or feel like I'm pinned

If only I could write about something happy

Something good
Something classy...


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nightlight1220's picture

Your poem tells the story of

Your poem tells the story of so many children. You are not alone and why it is good that you write. Soany people live their lives unaware that these situations are more common than people would think. It also happens in families that are not thought to have "issues", but goes unaddressed because there is one child who always takes the fall for things going wrong. It is, in many instances, "bullying", and often times the person never speaks up enough to ever resolve or remove themselves from the family. 


I have mixed feelings about your poem. I am sorry you have had to endure such heartache, pain, and bullying, but I am very glad you are talking about it, and hopefully seeking ways to put it in the past and move on. Hard lesson to learn about life and people at such a young age. Best hopes and wishes. Youbare on your way to whatever you make for yourself. Do not be afraid to let go of the past ....and people, if need be.

...and he asked her, "do you write poetry? Because I feel as if I am the ink that flows from your quill."

"No", she replied, "but I have experienced it. "


a.griffiths57's picture

Something good ...Something classy:



i think you have produced something good in writing this poem. It must have been very difficult for you, yet you wrote it. You have a straight forwardness in your writing that a lot of people lack, this can  be a usefull tool  to write about topical subjects in poetic form. It is important that you get help to get over your abusive memories and years of oppression. Your poem is blunt but does not spare the truth. A good read.

Invisibletoall's picture

I usually write when I'm

I usually write when I'm feeling down or angry.. which is probably why they are blunt. I've just recently started getting help :) I really appreciate your feedback, I was terrified to share my work with anyone, especially strangers in fear of doing wrong? being embarrassed, my work just not being good enough, or feeling ashamed. I would post some, then find myself deleting them about 5 minutes after lol. but a random, kind person messaged me on here and encouraged me to share. So I did and I'm happy that I have. I love reading other peoples thoughts on what I write, so thank you :))