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We all know there are more sides than one to every story, or is there? I could say my peace and then that would be the end. No, theres always another side, someone else's explanation. Another person has their own point of view on what has happened.



Sometimes I wish I could stop here, and rewind. Go back to when I was younger and change so many things. Part of why I am the way I am is because of my family and how they tought me, or how they didn't in fact.



Its not that I regret how things turned out, because everything 'supposedly' happens for a reason, but I wish that I could have grown up more and learned how to live, in stead of becoming how I am today.



I don't know who I am.



Ever since I was little, I always knew what I wanted to be, and what I wanted to do with my life. Every dream I ever had however, got crushed, stepped on, walked all over. There was always something wrong with me, in my families eyes.



"if you were skinny, maybe you could dance". "you need to take voice lessons if you are ever going to sing" "You'll never be on camera with a body like that" " You have to be smart to do that" "Get a real job, you'll never make it as a X"



I never felt good enough for them. For anyone for that matter. I have tried, maybe for a few people they have shown me what it is like to be real, and true, but in general everyone's put me down, Shown me I'm not good enough.



because of this, I never feel that I will be good enough for anyone in the future. Why bother when I will fail, let them down, hurt them, etc..



I was always a nice person, I had friends, I loved life, until this mess started.



Now I feel almost entirely alone, I have a few friends, but they are all so far away. People show they care less and less. I understand people have lives, they get busy but to forget, thats what hurts.



I've lived through all the middle school and high school crap, all the drama, the laughter, the bullying. I thought things would get better after high school, but they did not. Sure things brightened for a while, I saw hope, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, but it never lasts.



I don't know what else to say here.

I really dont.

I just want to be normal, to not cry myself to sleep every night for no apparent reason,

to not need self harm to get through the day.

I can't face the world like this.



I need a change.



I'm too weak to do it on my own. It's not that I am lazy, believe me thats not the case at all. I am just too exhausted, and weak, and sick.



I don't know how to fix anything,

Maybe its all too irrepearable.

I don't want to think goodbye is best,

but I am not sure.

I'm not sure.



How can she drown anymore?

Dreams in ashes on the floor.

When she does say,

"I've had enough, no more,

Anymore"?