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Lying on the cold bathroom floor again

Stomach churning with all the pain

Her hands are not the only part of her body shaking

As she gets ready to carve into her skin; the shame



She starts by raising the knife in the air

and within her head her mind tumbled all around

She gripped her fingers angerly in her hair

As the thoughts racing drove away all outside sound



As the knife reaches closer to her arm

she starts to feel a chill

Awaiting her impending relief from the misery

She would give anything if the pain she could kill



Slowly she cuts a line so softly

until she finds the nerve

Then she starts to press down harder

because it is what she feels that she deserves



The hell in her hmind and churning in her stomach

escape with the blood

and she feels better;

for at least one brief moment



She is so tired of what those brief moments leave in return

Ugly remnants to always remind her of everything

She will never heal seeing all those marks

but it is th eonly way she knows how to get the pain to stop



The guilt is relentless and unforgiving

but at least she knows one thing

She will always clean up the bloody mess

So she knows that she is worthy of something