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She Sold Him Her Soul
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Hate I've always feared there's a
ticking time bomb inside me.
What happens when time's up?
No more me... the sickening
sound of bones breaking like tree limbs
and the pulverized sounds of raw meat
blown to bits
Why so violent?
I was raised that way.
I was subhuman- a slave.
My duties included washing month-old,
maggot infested dishes
taking out the leaning tower of trash bags (need I remind you the pile was taller than me at all times)
cleaning up his messes
finding dishes buried under filth
(something grew in the Coca-Cola)
Oh, and his increasingly frequent fucks.
I'd say 'fucknights' but it wouldn't be
accurate- time of day or year was not
important enough.
He'd take me anyway he could
Oh God don't believe him it's not a nap he wants but he knows mom will do nothing even laying in the same bed with us how many times did I kick you bump you elbow you and you never even rolled over you were awake don't lie to me you just didn't want to know
You didn't protect me then.
You'll never have to anymore- I'm almost grown.
Then again, I was almost grown as a
result of his raping me at age 9
Mama you can pray at church and sing
your pro Jesus songs
but nothing can save you now
you comitted all 7 deadly sins
I love you because you're my mom
I think you disgust me more, though
wow. I have kind of the same problem with my mother. I was never raped or molested at all, but my brother has been beating my ass up ever since I was 11 years old and my mother would watch it happening and not do anything about. never punished him once. I'm 22 years old now and I'm actually in the middle of the 3rd court case against my brother in 3 years. my mother lied under oath to the judge to make it seem like I wasn't the victim.. she's standing by the abuser in court and not giving a rat's ass about the victim- me, her own daughter. that's some messed up shit. but at the same time, it seems as if you've been through worse than me. you're obviously a very strong person. you said in your bio you're bipolar.. I was just diagnosed with bipolar type 2 about two months ago. I've never met anyone like me.. but I think we're probably quite similar. don't read my poems though.. I was a teenager when I wrote them and they're all 'oh poor me' and everything. plus, I don't even think I could ever write as well as you. I have no criticisms. A+! =)
wow. I'm takin' up space....