Wrong person

It's 1:42 and my phone rings like no other day
Her cries of pain and agony carry over
The tears and the smell of alcohol are so powerful I can almost taste them in my telephone
She says "why did he do this to me?!"
I tried to tell her but she gave me no chance
Suicide was a thought in both our heads
Yelling and screaming for help left me only to listen
After a minute gone or so their was a quite awful feeling
The sound of silence on the other line left me to feel as if I saw a ghost
My brown face turned pail as it can get
I'm still left with the same thought
Who was the girl that called me
I had no idea

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thisisme789's picture

wow... That's really

wow... That's really touching, I had to reread it several times to get that it wasn't a girl's boyfriend that died, but a guy who was the last one to hear this girl alive. It's really depressing! Good Job!


<3

Fitzgerald's picture

Thank you. You know it is a

Thank you. You know it is a bit depressing but I'm not a depressing guy believe it or not. I write about my life and whats going on at the time. Perhaps later I might write something fun or about love who knows.

raminastar's picture

Thats deep. I have a friend

Thats deep. I have a friend that actually had something similar happen.. its left him a little off. He had a friends girl friend call him as she overdosed on meds thinking she was calling his friend to try and get him back. So super depressing. She died and he was the last one to hear her voice as he tried to calm her down. She just thought her ex was playing games so she went ahead and did it.. Man.. sucks.. This is an amazing take on that.. bravo.. great work here.. you make the reader really feel the intensity and chaos..keep it up!

Fitzgerald's picture

Oh and the music really does

Oh and the music really does make my writing what it is. It's hard to explain lol

Fitzgerald's picture

Thanks you very much for all

Thanks you very much for all the feedback. I'm glad you got what I was writing about..