To take your own ...........

Do you know what it is like to hold your own fate in hand ? Did you ever feel the razor slowly slide across your wrist deep down to the vein ? Did you ever swallow fifty plus pills ? While you swallow them by the hand full you feel yourself slowly becoming ill . Did you ever press cold steel against your temple ? Then think that it would be to much of a mess for your loved ones to clean and handle ? Have you thought of ending your life any given moment ? To escape this hell , the demons that live in your head and cause tourment . Have you sat their hours on end , crying and pleading because of the thoughts that spin ? Then you think of the pain your loved ones would endure , because of the sin that would take your life in the end ?
Is life worth living through peoples bullshit that they cause ? Is the agony to much to bear ? Do you think you would be in a better place ? Do you believe that is the best answer to your problem ? Do you think by doing so your world will be filled with rainbows and butterflies in the end ? Or will it be filled with enternity of pain and tourture ?
I have not seen it that far to the end , I have seen the in between . I have been given the second chance .I have been put up to the door of what lies in the after life .I have knocked on the door and was invited in .I wiped my feet on the welcome mat.
I chose not to enter just to greet death and speak to him .He gave me the choice on to enter or to leave..I choose to leave after he pointed out the reasons I should stay ...
I should stay not only for my children but for my own peace of mind..To prove to you not only me, that I exist .That I am someone . I am here to conquer , to show, to EXIST. I am here to give you my everything , my post, my side throughout this life..I will not leave this world being a nobody , I will leave this world having a name , having a say and leaving a footprint in the sand..

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Just a little write about tourmented soul .That fights constantly just to survive within your own ....

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SoulShadow's picture

This one touches me

This one touches me personally. I have lost loved ones to suicide

SSmoothie's picture



Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

thisisme789's picture

Wow, that's kind of deep.

Wow, that's kind of deep.