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MY UNSPOKEN GLOOM
With an aching heart
My nights stretch and stretch
O Lord God this punishment
Of enduring
An untold hidden pain in silence!
Why doesn't peace abide in me
For a little longer than it does!
Ah, the rules and restrictions
Placed on me by the divine will
For how long must I keep gulping down
The tears that swell inside of me
Like a thousand torrents
Wanting to gush out uncontrollably?
What hidden remorse lies buried inside
This aging structure of mine
That refuses to let go of me
Depriving me of peace and rest?
Am I insanely sensitive?
Too good for my own good?
I sit under the canopy of stars
And try to float in the vastness of space
In an attempt to understand
The indescribable grief that eats me up
Day in and day out.
Not all the Hamlets or King Lears
Can match the sorrow that lurks in me.
I become so burdensome to my own self
That the ability to relate my woe
To those around me becomes impossible.
O unseen Almighty Lord
What's the wound that bleeds deep within
The unexplored depths of my withering heart
What is it?
What uncanny gift of intuition this is
That makes me unmask every veil
Covering the faces of men and women
And leaves me knocked down as if
A charging knight has hurled his lance
To mock me for the insight I possess.
When will night come for me
As a harbinger of restful repose?
Is this mystery going to be solved
Sooner or later?
Why doesn't any angel hovering around
Unseen, comes, to help me know
The leech-like anguish
Of unrest that plagues me?
Or am I bound to cross over
The boundary of this life
To the other one
Without knowing
The reason of my unspoken gloom?
Perhaps, your unspoken gloom is meant to be fuel for your poetic flame. A poet without some angst is but another run of the mill hack writer trying to make himself a name in the world and you sir are no hack! You are a tiny candle trying to light up the night. A lovely job you do even if you don't feel your attempts are fully appreciated. you know who!....... again so why type it? laughs
This poem has quite a bit to say about such an unspoken topic.
Starward