With an aching heart

My nights stretch and stretch

O Lord God this punishment

Of enduring

An untold hidden pain in silence!

Why doesn't peace abide in me

For a little longer than it does!

Ah, the rules and restrictions

Placed on me by the divine will

For how long must I keep gulping down

The tears that swell inside of me

Like a thousand torrents

Wanting to gush out uncontrollably?

What hidden remorse lies buried inside

This aging structure of mine

That refuses to let go of me

Depriving me of peace and rest?

Am I insanely sensitive?

Too good for my own good?

I sit under the canopy of stars

And try to float in the vastness of space

In an attempt to understand

The indescribable grief that eats me up

Day in and day out.

Not all the Hamlets or King Lears

Can match the sorrow that lurks in me.

I become so burdensome to my own self

That the ability to relate my woe

To those around me becomes impossible.

O unseen Almighty Lord

What's the wound that bleeds deep within

The unexplored depths of my withering heart

What is it?

What uncanny gift of intuition this is

That makes me unmask every veil

Covering the faces of men and women

And leaves me knocked down as if

A charging knight has hurled his lance

To mock me for the insight I possess.

When will night come for me

As a harbinger of restful repose?

Is this mystery going to be solved

Sooner or later?

Why doesn't any angel hovering around

Unseen, comes, to help me know

The leech-like anguish

Of unrest that plagues me?

Or am I bound to cross over

The boundary of this life

To the other one

Without knowing

The reason of my unspoken gloom?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Composed and posted on March 14, 2010.

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palewingedpoetess's picture

Perhaps, your unspoken gloom is meant to be fuel for your poetic flame. A poet without some angst is but another run of the mill hack writer trying to make himself a name in the world and you sir are no hack! You are a tiny candle trying to light up the night. A lovely job you do even if you don't feel your attempts are fully appreciated. you know who!....... again so why type it? laughs

Starward's picture

This poem has quite a bit to say about such an unspoken topic.


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