Painfull memories.

Painfull memories
Are what lies inside of me.

I remember everything,
Even things, I wish I didn't see.

I see the memories daily,
Re wind inside my mind.
No way to pause them,
Forced to watch.

I try to close my eyes,
I try to lie, I try to do anything,
To ease my mind.

Painful memories
Of my life, will never go away.

Painful memories,
Are what others don't see.

They don't see the things done,
Or words said to me.

They don't understand,
And I hate when they pretend.

They try to take my hand,
And I start to cry again.

I remember all the pain,
That iv felt.
All the beatings that were delt.
The bruises left behind,
The cuts that bleed,
The scars that faded.
I remember my screams,
Load and in pain,
I remember begging,
Pleading, for God to intervene.

I remember the Tears that where shead,
The blows to the head.

I remember wishing every night,
To be dead.

But god had other plans instead.

I remember all the words you said,
Every word that cut me,
That made me cry.
They stung like salt in a cut.

Painfull memories.

Are like knives
Slowly, carefully slicing me,
Leaving tiny scars , blood trickling down my body.

Painfull memories.

Scars that never go away,
They cover my body,
And only seen by me.

My hearts covered to,
But no one knew,
It was stabbed by a man,
Who is un known by you.

Painful memories.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Abuse from my parents. Things iv seen and heard never go away. I'll remeber them, til the end of my days.

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MatthewWayne's picture

Honestly, I am glad "god"

Honestly, I am glad "god" didint take you when you begged him too because if he did the world would not get a chance to witness your beautiful talented works of art! :) I'm sorry for all the pain you went through and unfortuniately will go through as we both know life can be the cruelist of them all.
Theres a sense of "tranquility" to be had when we are able to express your pain and suffering in a artistic way, and it still to this day blows my mind the ammount of mental and physical pain a person can endure, and does indeed make them stronger.


"I am my own sort of strange, a supernova of madness and brillance. Forced to share the same space and time. Sane enough to not be seen, yet not crazy enough to be heard." -- Matthew Wayne

Elfy's picture

Me too, I'm glad I'm still

Me too, I'm glad I'm still here today. What I went through and continue to go go through, will have have in deed made me a stronger person. Though I'm not happy about my past, I wouldn't change it, even ifi had the past. It lend me to today, who I am now, my friends my family, my relationships w them, my heart, my feelings, if I took my past away, I wouldn't be who I am. :)
Thank you for the sweet comment, please don't say your sorry hon. It's what I had to go through, and it happened, no way to go bk n stop it, besides not ur fault or problem, so don't be sorry. Tranquility is a feeling you feel, cause you may read my words, but you will never truely understand the pain, or feelings completely, which I'm glad you won't. I wouldnt want anyone to understand. Yes it is amazing isn't, how much stronger it can make someone, if they take advantage of it.


-Elfy*

MatthewWayne's picture

haha like I tell you all the

haha like I tell you all the time I know its not my fault, and its something you had to go through but I can still say I am sorry it happened to you, when by all things reasonable shouldnt have happened :P just saying hahaha *hides* and no one will truly ever know even the person you bare your heart to will turly never know the full extent of the scars, you can only hope they take your hand and help guide your future into being more positive.


"I am my own sort of strange, a supernova of madness and brillance. Forced to share the same space and time. Sane enough to not be seen, yet not crazy enough to be heard." -- Matthew Wayne

thisisme789's picture

=( Im sorry hon! The poem was

=( Im sorry hon! The poem was very well written, and I liked it, but hated that it was about you.
And when you wrote:
"My hearts covered to,
But no one knew,
It was stabbed by a man,
Who is un known by you." Was that about your father or some other man??


<3

Elfy's picture

My father.

My father.


-Elfy*

thisisme789's picture

=( I'm sorry!

=( I'm sorry!


<3

Elfy's picture

Please don't be. Not your

Please don't be. Not your fault or problem


-Elfy*

thisisme789's picture

It sorta is my prob, hon.

It sorta is my prob, hon. It's hurting/hurt you, and I care about you, so it becomes my burden to carry with you =)


<3

MatthewWayne's picture

Served!! hahaha Elfy just

Served!! hahaha Elfy just needs to know there are people who really care about her and while she is strong she doesnt have to walk the road alone ;)


"I am my own sort of strange, a supernova of madness and brillance. Forced to share the same space and time. Sane enough to not be seen, yet not crazy enough to be heard." -- Matthew Wayne

thisisme789's picture

Exactly! Thank you for

Exactly! Thank you for backing me up! Take that Elfy! =P''


<3

Elfy's picture

Omg !! Tag teaming?? Really?!

Omg !! Tag teaming?? Really?! 0.0
Sigh. Fine I'm defeated. Elfy knows there are plp who care, and she knows she isn't alone. But she prefers to not have plp be involved cause when she did, she saw how much it hurt them. :( she does it out of love! And yes I'm using she, cause I can. Plus I'd look offly funny with mobs of friends, holding my hand, plus the cars wouldn't be happy if they were in the middle of the road being dragged as I walked.
--------friends---------(elfy)----------friends------------- XD


-Elfy*

thisisme789's picture

XDD cute, lol. But you

XDD cute, lol. But you wouldn't have to have them all with you at all times, now would you, babe?


<3