Snippet - Episode 1


At 16, my mom couldn't tell me nothin'

I was destine to be an artist, in New York.

I was gonna graduate high school

So everyone would leave me the f@ck alone

& I could just go with the wind.

Oh how my heart has always been a wanterlust

While my feet remain rooted in this culture bubble


While "this [is the] place" is absolutely beautful by nature,

there lies an under-belly of the beast like you will find in any city.

Although, at it's core-- it's pure imitation vanilla.

Oh you're over here living that "Fast Life'"

You are clearly on a Wasatch Front. 

They blind to this fact though.

They believe it's actually their own idea to choose this.

Man, no. Listen-- we don't have "projects" here

The government issued housing are duplexes and fourplexes

Just. Stop. Right. There. and Sit Down.

-------I DIGRESS--------------------

At 19, the world was my oyster

I'd uncovered the master key to my matrix, the matrix

My first heartbreak lead me to the greatest mystery ever to be solved

I was free. I was determined not to let anyone TRULY get near me.


At 20, She won me over--

Flowers, three paychecks in a row. This basketball playing co-worker of mine.

Like elaborate ass displays of affection with ridiculously cute cards.

"Just one date?" -- *le sigh* She was everything too me. She still is.

Funny how I just let it happen, although I knew i was tryna do bigger things.

She was safe. She showed me the world. Like... in real life.

Without her, I would have never left.

Raftng, California Dreams and Avacado Trees

Eating Maidrites cooked with her grandmas hand-me-down pan


We went to an island together... For a wedding...

Where we fought, fucked, broke-up and made-up in paradise.

Where I took a plane, by myself, to another island

To meet someone I was connected to from lifetimes before

They don't believe it, but I still do

We still have one of the most amazing bonds. She's married now. <3

The woman that won her heart is fierce and spoils her in a way that she deserves.

See-- things always come together in the end.


At 22, when we were over--

The dilemma was real. I made a choice.

To this day--- he's still sexy as fuck.

He walked me far far away from who I was before him

without any effort


I used to meditate, fall asleep, and show up to him late


Eventually-- my tardiness caused a scorpion to question (snowball effect)

Should she really be in my lair? Is she a liar? Who else could she be seeing?

Man-- the level of impetuousity I had back then--

Like, Oh! Okay! You don't trust me then? Let me give you reason 

Let the self-sabotage begin, and it'll bring it to an end.

He's not into me "like that" - I've learned to live with that.


At 25, when hymn and I were finalizing our 3 years of:

roomate-benefriend-domesticated-fight-club dynamics

It dawned on me that if I loved this man the way I claimed

That his happiness would be found without me.

I didn't want to let him go, but what we'd become was misery.

He moved away within a matter of weeks

Then, I was determined to be alone-- I lived in a 2-bedroom house, on my own!

But something happened at work, of course.

I whistled, and he turned his head back.

He told me how he's been into me for months.

He told me about hs entire life story.

He let me listen to his creative expression through rap lyrics and harmonized rhythmn and beat

YES! I thought the universe literally handed me perfection

Like, just laid it right there... at my feet.

This was the man I'd waited my whole life to meet

This was a man I could invest in

This was a man I could create life with

and we did.

This was the man that told me everything was going to be okay

This was the man that promised me he'd never give up on me

This was the man that proposed to me in the same coffee shop were we spent hours fallin in love

This was the man that I unraveled from the core

This was the man that I changed, without thinking and without asking

This was the man that I would learn the true value of respect, love, and wisdom with.

This is the man I'll never give up on

This is a man I'm learning to let go.

We're not ever going back. I can learn to live with that.

Onward! Friend!


At 32, it still feels like 29. Like, I haven't caught up with this "thirites" thing

Except-- when it comes to dating younger. 

Yeah. Fking. Right.

Dafuq I look like wanting to date some young, dum ass 23 year old.

Are you serious?

Puma. Pfffft. I cannot.


I mean.... that's all for now.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'm going to do a lot more prose writing.

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allets's picture


Well said! - slc



dreayeya's picture

You see!

Pfft. SLC ;) 




life_used_to_be_lifelike's picture

  Fragments of stories :) 


Fragments of stories :) 

"It is a terrible thing to be so open. It is as if my heart put on a face and walked into the world" -- Sylvia Plath.

dreayeya's picture

;) Exactly!

Nailed it.