strange room to find a poet,

says the box that suddenly appears on the screen.

The words are a shock

breaking through the cloths of numbness I’ve pulled around me

they hit me with full force

and start a shaking all through me

without my protecting numbness I am raw

and the sobs come, one after another,

too deep to be quieted

sometimes I can’t tell which is worse

the ever-increasing shame, or

the impossibility of comfort from it

The Box waits for a response

I fight back the shame, swallow the sobs

   I know, I type back,

two empty words, giving no indication that anything just happened

For here I am a Box too, and Boxes have no feelings

The Box keeps typing, as if the first words never happened

perhaps, for him, they didn’t.

   what are you looking for?

what am I looking for?  what am I looking for?

curiosity led me here, keeps me here

I cringe as I type the words which explain myself and my feelings

I do not feel exposed;  I’m only talking to a Box, after all, and to it I am not a person either

but yet the shame is so great that I cannot even look at the words I have typed

so easy to type words; press enter before the mind can even properly register what they are

and all the while, the words echo in my head, strange room to find a poet

The Box and I type more words back at each other

The Box suggests meeting

my fingers type back, startlingly considering the option

my emotions struggle with the possibility,

lost in thoughts of what ifs and maybes being turned reality

no!  a wordless scream, from deep inside

brain, take over, I can’t deal with this anymore,

and so it does, telling my fingers to type

    I need to go; someone needs the phone

and I escape into "Are you sure you want to exit?"

Enter, Enter, Enter

I leave the room, enter into my own,

where I wrap myself in darkness

I cry as quietly as possible, lost in my own private hell

where shame and disgust for myself is all I know

where I know no comfort can come

where I know I don’t deserve life

strange room to find a poet

strange room to find a poet

strange world       to find a poet

(this program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down)

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Who_ Gives_a_dam's picture

fascinating, it's as if I were right next to you
as you're typing to the box, I'm pretty desperate
too at times, but I've managed to have some self
Incredible piece you wrote, the way you let it
unfold, your style of writing, expression of feelings.
It's flawless. If only there was a sequel.

Please dont look at my poems,
Sometimes, that happens when you critique another poets
work. The stuff I wrote just happens to be some of my worst
and it would be very embarrassing having someone like
who knows how to write read it. Thank you for respecting
my wishes.

Bryan Adam Tomimbang's picture

Wow. Very nice narration and internal dialogue expressed. Nothing else to say but that it was intriguing... Wonderful job. Keep it up!