I've Arrived


Ive arrived..

Thought you were here waiting

Come home to find you

With the love of your life

Wrapped tightly in your arms

I lie here, broken

Desperate enough to beg for blood

But not there enough to draw it

Seeing you is a reminder

Of who I should be

What I was turning into a rainbow

Of how weve all changed

Since Ive grown up.

Ive arrived

To find myself alone

To find the tears incapable of falling

To find myself longing for the embrace

Of someone who will take care of this

Broken heart

That lies, shattered

But still beating on the floor

Far from your feet

So many miles away

I sit here, my eyes filling with tears

That wont fall

My phone is still on

I wait for you to call

But youre too busy

Forgetting you love me as you hold her

And you love her

And I wish I could go back

And run away

To be with you

And save myself

From the end result of ultimate rejection

From the only one

Ive ever loved

That wasnt Courtney

That wasnt a lie.

I never lied to you

But I lied to myself

Telling myself Id get over it

Forget this feeling

And Id lie to myself

Making myself move on into the arms of someone else

Down on top of them

Or beneath them

Begging them to fuck me into oblivion

Because you never could

And you wont now

And I wont let you.

I cant do this to myself any longer

I know I have to say good bye

its not supposed to hurt

But its so bad

I try so hard just to say good bye

Goodnight, make it final

But I can't

I cave in.

You are my sun

And it's night.

And like Ive said to Dan.. without saying it at all

If this feelings a disease..

I have died for you

Rotted in many states

As you forgot me

And I remembered everything

Only you

And obliterated all else

In my mania

But it wasn't good enough

Can't be good enough

Because this is me were talking about

And I'm good enough for no one

And not even myself.

And incapable of love

And ultimately


Broken hearted

A heart that lies beating on the floor


Into pieces (smash apart what you created)

Author's Notes/Comments: 

For Scuba Steve.


And I thought I'd never write a poem about him..

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