The Murder Victim


I've said all the goodbyes I needed to say.

Goodbye to love, goodbye to lust, goodbye to life.

I'm dragging my feet, moving so slowly towards something

that I can't reach, a past I could never reclaim.

Your silence has stopped my heartbeat, and now I'm running on fumes.

I try to turn towards hate, knowing the truths and realities

won't save me from whatever mistakes I made

that made you run so far away...

But now that hate seems emptier than this life without you,

and it's consumed me.

I always become what I hated then.

And now I am a cold, heartless monster

Tearing the beating chambers from innocent bystanders.

They were your replacements that I clung to as I waited patiently.

I am careless and hollow, and then a sudden hit to the back of my skull:

You aren't coming back.

Knowing these words have been spoken before, I speak them now

to try to make sense of the disaster my life has become.

I can't remember the life I led before you,

and I don't know how to live it again.

This life without you, the masks I hide behind and the people I've used,

it's left me like a hopeless Holocaust victim;

searching for a God I gave up on so long ago.

I glamorize the life we led together,

carefully forgetting each time you lied and said you loved me,

how you hid behind an empty confusion,

and ignoring the silence that has taken your place.

I started to die when I first knew you lied.

The mess you've left in your wake is a murder scene,

and I am the victim.

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Afzal Shauq's picture

well done a great love and lovely poem for peace..this is a very good poem and like it much...your poetry is rich and inspiring too..hope you add more poems to enjoy... and wish if you go through my poems too... I am basically a peace dreamer and peacew wisher poet with 6 books and believe in love for all and peaceful world... let me share with you one of my owns says regarding peaceful life...(( a friendly smile is the best weapon of war to fight with...afzal shauq )) hope we save the ailing world with our love poems... for ensuring the peace