Purity becomes less of a lifestyle

and more of a virtue over the years -


for the betterment of the status quo

for the regiment of the daily work flow -


some truths aren't meant to stand mutually-exclusive

from the lies swept under the nightstand


But the simple reality over time

is that reckoning doesn't stab with a butter knife...


The self-inflicted,

splintered soul

contradicted by morality on hot coals

my innocence melts to liquid beneath ugly scenarios

dripping with the ill-fated storyline

and the heart I left in cold vice

conflicted and untold


But maybe some things are better left unsaid

when the compass projects the road ahead

and it points

at how the point of no return is in fact

a dead end

and if I was to be so bold

as to divulge the words I cannot unspeak

I open my big mouth

Damn these hand-crafted dams of a beaver's durability

still expose precious, aged memories to leak

until catastrophe strikes

and the tranquil ships in the bay either sink

or just keep swimming

out to sea


...til there's nothing here left for me.



I ask myself honestly

would that be any better than this silent purgatory?

Author's Notes/Comments: 



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allets's picture


Usually impossible to discover. Discovered here. - slc



SSmoothie's picture

Profound thoughts... got me

Profound thoughts... got me thinking ...

Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

deepblue's picture

thank you, I'm in a really

thank you, I'm in a really conflicted place of late with a couple people I've known for a long, long time and...while it brings out a lot of my best writing, these situations really wear me down over time.  Either I have the courage to express everything to them and face the inevitable consequences, or I continue to prod along in conflict, eating away at my confidence and conviction.  Not exactly a unique scenario, heh, but it's where my head's at for the time being.  Thanks again for the feedback, take care

SSmoothie's picture

You know time is not a

You know time is not a requirement for loyalty. I guess you should have the courage of your convictionS. Or else they aren’t really convictions, they’re more like silent protests that are imperceptible. Often these convictions can come off as judgements more than preferences. This is the key.i lost many readers to the fact that I am happily Christian. I find no real conflict as it is the most accepting of religions and encouraging and supportive. The theology is strong and proven to work. It has grace and sin all covered None of us are exempt, and the simple truth is God love’s us all and wants us all in his presence Every last one of us with every last failing. Confusion is what a human is. Clarity is in between the lines. I have lost many friends due to political convictions. Well it turns out I didn’t lose any friends at all I lost admirers. I lost a group mentality. I lost nothing I needed. Real friemds love you despite your convictionS. They understand and make do with common Ground. They don’t judge you. They listen and argue with you. They move to a stake mate and agree to disagree and have lively conversations. But again I guess that depends on the real reason you are withholding and what they may  reveal of who they really are or aren’t when you finally have the courage Of your convictions to say what you NEED to say. I’ll be praying for you x hugss 

Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

deepblue's picture

All very fair and wise

All very fair and wise points, and you're right...I fear the test of our friendships' resolve over these truths I want to remove from my head.  Just saying the words isn't an impossible task, but knowing what's said cannot be unsaid, and how the friendship will need to change as a result of said words, causes me pause.  But like you said, if the connection isn't strong enough to endure strain, then maybe it's not as solid a bond as I've believed for a long time.  Either way, resolution will need to happen one way or another before too long, and your words help.  Thank you

allets's picture

To Say Or Not To Say

Friendship by nature is intrusive and rearranging, the territory. Unless imoral, or illicit in some manner, then silence is the rule. The be aware, but silent. I had a drag out honesty session about 2 years ago with an acquaintance, now we are friends - I voiced my concerns - stepping over lines that should be respected, and now a simple code: "We will not go there" is a kind reminder. She will not change, she is curious and inquisitive - inappropriately often but still a good egg and I love her a lot. These are the offices of friendship and caring - we are all different; accept the differences. Period. I wish you resolution. - Stella