I've Got A Secret

I'm not who you think I am

I'm not that girl

If you found my true self

I'm sure it would rock your world.

I have a big secret

one that I simply cannot share.

I'd rather die before I did

or rip out all my hair.

This secret sits on my shoulder

and never leaves my side

Even if I wanted to go

there isn't a place I could hide.

Sometimes I sicken even myself,

so much I can't stand what I see.

that I must lie to all those I meet,

because they can't know the real me.

I'm sure there is someone out there

who could possibly understand.

Who would chose to remain by my side

and lend a helping hand.

This secret would shock my family

and make my mother cry.

It would make my father disappointed

and make me want to die....

Well, more than now,

because I already do.

and now I have shared

my secret with you.

You may not have caught it

or missed a beat.

So one time only

I will repeat:

I hate myself inside and out

and I WANT to die.

I wish I were a normal girl,

but I'm not, don't know why.

I've always felt trapped inside my head

though I'm not sure how it came about.

Now everyday I secretly worry

that my secrets will get out.

So now that I have told you all

this secret that I've slipped.

Please keep it to yourselves

and don't let it leave your lips.

For if you do I shall die,

or simply float away

under the current of judgement

and what others will most likely say.

Then again maybe I should

just let you all tell.

Then I could get someone's help

for me to get well.

But until then I guess

this is a secret we shall own.

And hopefully I'll no longer,

go through this alone

View dazedbylife's Full Portfolio
easyas129's picture

Someone already said it

but youre defnintely not alone!

marinazartman's picture


You're definitely not alone with this secret. 

Very well written.

DazedByLife's picture

Thank you :)

Thank you :)

Morningglory's picture

This reminds me of a powerful

This reminds me of a powerful story I once read about a creature with 1000 arms each having a spiked club within its hands which all beat the creature. An benevolent spirit came to assist and he was scared that she'd beat him. She tried to let him know the truth, that the beatings all came from him. But he wouldn't listen and continued to beat himself up 1000 times over. Don't beat yourself up. Learning to love ourselves isn't the easiest thing but it sure does help the heart and mind.  Consistent meditation helps to calm some of those self hate feelings.  I still have trouble here and there with those emotions. Hope you find a way to kick the ass of self hatred. Say nice, loving things to your heart and just wait for the response. The heart is a powerfully loving being. 

Copyright © morningglory

DazedByLife's picture

I'm trying to kick its ass

I'm trying to kick its ass but ehh! Its not always that easy

Morningglory's picture

Trust me, I KNOW. I deal with

Trust me, I KNOW. I deal with the same shit. Been learning not to get too harsh on myself. Gotten a lot better over the years. But I haven't entirely kicked its ass yet.

Copyright © morningglory

allets's picture

I Have A Bigger Secret

It has metaphors and similes, so I'll keep it dark forever ~A~



DazedByLife's picture