The damned Holiday Season .

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The damned Holiday Season ... 
To some of us the Holidays are just reminder's of all we've lost 
along the way 
The Empty seat at the table where a loved one should be .
For Me it's a Wife who crossed over .
We were together just four months shy of 11 years.
Eighteen years it's been. 
The Holiday's they came and went and I put on a fake smile an Ho,Ho Hoed for the sake of the children

You never forget ,
You just get comfortably Numb

surrounded by large wonderful families.Such as mine is sometimes
Hell,
Everyone is happy talking about old times somewhere in the conversations I'm reminded of a Friend who put a gun to His head an kissed the world goodby and I still have no reason's for why .
or the relationships I've had that failed whether it was they'er 
fault or mine

The brothers I served with that went on to come home in a big trashbag with a zipper leaving Me wondering if it would of been the same if i'd of been there . I was always the better fighter

I look around an see how far they've got in they'er journey through life and know I can't compete . I don't hold it against them they took they'er path I took mine and I played the game with a whole different set of rules

They're Family ,They love Me Even if they don't understand Me.
I'm not proud of some of the things I've done or where i'm currently at in this stage of My life .But in no means do you need to take this a a surrender 
I'm damn proud that I've survived and will continue to do so !
I just mentioned this all so you could see why some of us 'Have a hard time this time of year 
Some with way more reasons than mine

To all those who have problems as I do , health struggles or just plain old struggles with life 
All I Ask Of You Is Survive The Holidays
We Have No Clue what next year May Give Us

~ D Donner ~

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The Season

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My favorite season Fall/Winter Halloween to New Year's Day- I ease into relatives and their odd expressions of happiness - the depressed usually don't show up. This year, I'm giving everyone a present. something to remember ma or grandma or mom in law or Aunt Stella or sister by. I publish poems and give them to my relatives - as autobio and a map to success when life throws an unhittable curve ball. If not for them, for their descendants and mine. It is a senior's responsibility to leave a message of wisdom learned to be shared. Next year, this year, last year - mostly cool. All by myself and selectively alone works for me - Lady A
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