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I can't say I'm sorry for the things I know .... But I am sorry for the things I don't

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From Darker Times
the things I know ....
I know a 5.56 mm round will drop -18 inches at 500 meters
I know a 7.62x51 round will drop -202.9 inches at a 1000 meters
I know how to calculate the wind speed vs distance to make those shots work
I'm proficient with the 9mm Beretta and or the Colt 1911 45
12 gage sawed off and for up close and personal a K-bar knife
I can stop a sucking chest wound with a bread sack and duct tape
I know the average person is right handed and 9 out of 10 times they will roll or run to the right in a fire fight
I know the fear of trying to find the enemy in the dark
I know the terror of evading the enemy in the dark
I know the Horrors people can and will do to one another

What I don't know
I don't know how to a normal civilian
I didn't know how not to always plan for the worst and have at least two escape routs for the ole lady and kids
I didn't know how to tell her I loved her
I thought being willing to die for anyone of them was enough
I didn't know how to enjoy the quietness of a moonlit night
I was always watching shadows making sure they were shadows
I didn't, don't know how to say the things I can write

I can't say I'm sorry for the things I know
But I am sorry for the things I don't

~ D Donner ~
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©21 May 2016 - 6:55am — Daniel-59
21 May 2016 - 11:00am — allets
allets's picture

There are no

normal civilians. i have been trying to find one. No luck. Not them, not me. Pressure and high stress tells if a person is sane and able to be successful as a survivor. Calm times are for laughter and joy. I chose not to live in Hell all the time, but I could and sometimes it comes knocking, but the visits are short. My coping mechanisms are great at burying the foul and angry shit. Why I garden flowers. Dirt and plants do not lie, harass, or cause pain. I write from wherever I am at the time and on any day, at any hour,  I could be emotionally anywhere. That's my form of normal. Overall, I am content. Life gives me lemons, I go out for a beer :D. - Lady A in the early chatty a.m.