by Jeph Johnson


Last night a very pretty gal 

Told me she thought 

I was a pretty friendly guy 

And that she liked 

Hanging out with me. 


I suppose because 

I'm an extrovert 

I'm pretty good 

At making friends. 


Sadly I'm not so great 

At keeping them. 


I suppose because

I bought her a drink

That helped too.


I don't drink.


So today and tonight

Alone and friendless, 

I have quite a difficult time 

Finding the energy 

To leave my bed,

To even go out to find 

New company.


Forget companionship. 


That being said, 

It must be excruciatingly 

More difficult for 

Awkward introverts 

To go out and do that. 


Thankfully introverts 

Recharge with solitude. 


I don't. 



I wither 




This is the bleak midwinter; 

The time I hate being alone 

And the time 

Some of those who haven't

Unfriended me

Turn their notifications to snooze..


Instead I trick them by turning

This status update into a poem.

Author's Notes/Comments: 


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