Biggest Riddle

I see a man who used cigarettes as a crutch to get him through life, sex as an escape from reality only to harshen what really isn't there, a man who lets everyone down only to wellow in self-denial to think its the worlds fault when truth is he tries too much. A man that's not afraid to cry but is afraid to show it, a man who wants to fall down and never get up again. He looks pretty lonely on what he thinks is his pedastel on top of the world, but no drug in the world can make anyone else see differently. His very existance causes me a slight irritation, looking at him throw himself away hurts me so much. He never knew what to come of this world until it was his last chance for an escape and he took it. Looking at him try to be nice and comforting to others while you follow his path, a role-model to the it the very end. Not knowing his limits and trying to find his real purpose only to be found lying next to his doorstep with no heart beat and no oxygen. Crying to the world that he is no longer available to be. I prayed for the health of him everyday to see that he would change his way...he is always smiling and making me realize there is more to life then what it seems, but what the fuck am I suppose to do when you take him away? I am lost again. Alone and needing something to make my living worth while...I know he was a great friend until the very end, he didn't always make smart choices but he did what he felt was right, and saved a few lives...including mine. Where was I for him!? Why do I fail at keeping everyone I care about alive?? I don't know what I am doing anymore. I don't know if I can live anymore...This is my note to my best friend who will remain in my heart even though he may not live anymore. Do you know who this man is?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

RIP Alec...

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Simone Ingram's picture

i liked it alot it is real and i cna feel the emotion in the poem good job keep doing what you are doing

Jason's picture

Man you change every ones life for a better good, you are the most importent person around this city, don't think you are worhless you can not see whats in front of your eyes every day you do not see how much people love you man, you do not see the people that care about you, you don't see the peoples lives you have changed you shouldn't feel respasable for his death you changed his left for the best you gave him a great friend and you have change many more peoples lives then you know were would most of your friends be with out you, you might think better off but they all wouldn't have as much fun as they have had they wouldn't have a great friend to talk to, to laugh with man you are not a wothless person you are the best person to know i am glad to know you, you have changed my life for the best and i can only say with my whole heart thanks for every thing and i know alec is saying thank you too for giving him hope and your friendship, great poem man im sure he would have loved it