IV. I Know Where You Live (1/27/14)

Folder: 
Poetry from 2014

 

 

I Know Where You Live
by Elizabeth Van Cleve (January 27, 2014)

 

She agreed to go
He seemed pleased at that
They waited in chairs
but too long they sat

 

The doctor was late
The line was too long
The longer she stayed
the more it felt wrong

 

With nothing to do
She talked about fluff
hoping he liked that,
her mentioning stuff

 

He said something strange
very off topic
"I know where you live."
 his words like a kick

 

She kept on talking
And hoped to forget
what he’d said smugly
her palms full of sweat

 

She couldn’t ignore
words said with such pride
She asked where she lived
as fear burned inside

 

It was her address
he quoted all right
Now what did he want?
Her chest felt so tight

 

As he leaned toward her
he listed misdeeds
claimed she abused him
ignoring his needs

 

She asked what he meant
by her abusing him
“I was left hanging
to dry on a limb!”

 

That’s abuse,” he said
“Not hearing one word,
that’s also abuse.”
She cried when she heard

 

“Have I upset you?
I hope you’re okay.”

Why was she waiting
to help him that day?

 

She stood on her feet
Now grabbing her purse
“Are you leaving now?”
he said looking worse

 

“I need the bathroom.
I’m planning to stay.”
“You do have a choice
to leave here today.”

 

In the bathroom, she cried
She phoned for some aid,
but canceled her day,
appointments she’d made

 

Still by the table
He waited for her
She asked for some food
He bought it for her

 

The doctor then came
And he was so late
When moved to his room,
they still had to wait

 

He spoke of his dosage
The doctor was nice
She told her concerns
Was offered advice

 

“Buy a recorder
if he yells, tape it
Then bring it to me,
I need to hear it.”

 

They walked toward their cars
He mentioned the store
She had to go home
He asked to know more

 

“What is your hurry?
What have you to do?”
“Company’s coming.”
He asked to know who

 

When she said church friends
He said nothing more
She said, “I’ll see you”
He snubbed her once more

 

She cried in the car
Felt better when home
Visited her friends
Then talked on the phone

 

Then she found e-mail
from him before bed
"It’s now in your car;
so tape me," he said.


 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

January 27, 2014  During my separation from my husband, we saw each other in a store parking lot one morning.  He told me that he had planned to see his doctor about his medication that day.  He reminded me of my concern about drug interactions, his taking his pills differently than prescribed, and taking pills that the doctor hadn't prescribed.  It had been my wish to meet his doctor to tell him anything that my husband had left out.  I wanted him to have a correct diagnosis.  I agreed to meet my husband at the clinic, after shopping. Our wait turned out to be several hours, because the clinic was closed for lunch and the doctor showed up late by a couple of hours after the clinic had reopened.  While waiting for the doctor to return, my husband told me that he had learned my address.  I had not given it to him, because I was in protective housing.  Learning that he now knew where I lived was scary enough.  What made matters worse was what took place later that night.  I learned in an e-mail that he had come to my place, used his key to my car, and placed something in it.  I cried myself to sleep thinking about that tape recorder being in the car.  I really didn't want to put myself in a position again to have to record him.

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a.griffiths57's picture

    An akward situation but

 

 

An akward situation but your concern throughout the poem for your ex-husband to get a correct diagnosis does you credit. An akward situation that turned out to be so intimidating shows your strength and courage whilst coping with this alarming situation. Good luck with your future. The poem is an interesting one with some insight into the problems of mental ill health. Your partners behaviour seems very obsessive about you, I hope you have found your safe haven.


 

 

http://www.postpoems.org/authours/a.griffiths57