I Need an Adult

An interesting thing happened to me as interesting things usually do. I was faced with a message from someone on a very popular social networking site.

He said,"Hey man, you don't know me but I know a girl that likes you. Interested?"

I took this at first for what it was, a stagnant attempt of trying to hook up a lonely friend. So I responded back in a less than stellar mood going on to say,

"Not really, I'm going through loads of relationship issues currently and I'm not looking for anything else to push onto my plate. Thanks anyway though."

"Well man, before I let you go I just want to ask, how good are you at handling crazy things?", he said.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You good at secrets?"

I was starting to get a little agitated,"Look I really don't know what this is all about, but it's starting to seem like a lot of responsibility."

"Well then I'll just say it, the girl is my girlfriend and it would be awesome if you messaged her on this site and got her number"

I sat there looking at his sentence. Everything I thought about the conversation quickly changed in an instant. Now I have thirteen other possible scenerios and all of them ending in me needing an adult.

"I don't follow, what is it you're getting out of this? I mean why should I text your girlfriend?"

"Well you never know man. There's a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow. Wink"

A fucking winky face. This has to be a joke, but it's not and I know it's not. I'm not even interested in finding a girl but this is actually really funny. I collect my thoughts and try to be a bit more direct than I have been. I say,

"Here's the deal man, I need to know exactly what your intentions are."

"My intentions are for you, my girlfriend, and I to get really drunk and have sex."

This is the part of the movie that is a freeze frame moment and my inner monolouge shows up to say how freaked out I am but I can't stop laughing. I'm half flattered and half grossed out but I'm one hundred percent dissappointed that I look like the kind of guy who would be into this type of thing.

"So yeah, you just said that. I'm flattered but there's no way I'm ever doing that. I don't even want to know what the girls name is. Good luck in your search.", I respond in the nicest way possible.

His rebuttle ,"Well thanks anyway, but maybe if you would just get her number and text her dirty stuff that would really turn me on"

 

Why did he have to finish with that?

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

My life is a constant "What?"

View chadical's Full Portfolio
running_with_rabbits's picture

WHAT!?

This is the part of the movie that is a freeze frame moment and my inner monolouge shows up to say how freaked out I am but I can't stop laughing.

Priceless explination of the reaction we all have to WTF moments!

 

 

and man oh man this line has me wanting to write a poem: 

Now I have thirteen other possible scenerios and all of them ending in me needing an adult.


sorry someone was this creepy to you, glad you turned it into prose, also sorry to hear you are having relationship problems, those suck!

Hope things sort themselves soon


Much Love

Ashley

Chadical's picture

I love unusual things to

I love unusual things to happen to me. This was a little more than I bargained for though. The relationship troubles will iron themselves out in time. Thanks for saying so though.


"Where do you go when nowhere feels like home?"-FBMF

running_with_rabbits's picture

...

hence forth you shall be known as Radical Chadical for your awesome perspective on life!


Much Love

Ashley

Chadical's picture

So it is written, so it shall

So it is written, so it shall be done.


"Where do you go when nowhere feels like home?"-FBMF

running_with_rabbits's picture

:)

<3


Much Love

Ashley

nightlight1220's picture

Report that asshole. He is

Report that asshole. He is promoting an unsafe practice.

 

As for the write, it is awesome. It reflects the times and the unfairness people have to deal with everyday on the internet.

...yes. you need an adult. 

..


...and he asked her, "do you write poetry? Because I feel as if I am the ink that flows from your quill."

"No", she replied, "but I have experienced it. "

 

Chadical's picture

Yeah I wasn't too threatened

Yeah I wasn't too threatened but more vulnerable people could be approached with greater success. I'm not going to blow the whistle but his behavior was definitely creepy.

 


"Where do you go when nowhere feels like home?"-FBMF

nightlight1220's picture

Could even be a cop who has

Could even be a cop who has made you a suspect ....just "because"...or fishing (not phishing, but fishing), for "stardom". They are mostly taught (from all I have witnessed), to create something from nothing to glorify their own "heroism"...;-)

...


...and he asked her, "do you write poetry? Because I feel as if I am the ink that flows from your quill."

"No", she replied, "but I have experienced it. "

 

Chadical's picture

The possibilities, much like

The possibilities, much like my curiosity to random messages, is endless!


"Where do you go when nowhere feels like home?"-FBMF