i tried hard to forget it.

but no matter where i go it follows.

a puppy dog following its master.

although i am the puppy dog.

and my master is still unknown.

this contempt i have hurts inside.

without an excuse i fall away.

a mountaineer climbing mt. everast.

will i ever reach the top?

so many things i wish i could let out.

the razor against my skin strings along.

a musical depiction of anger and apathy.

but i do not play an instrament.

my tears run down my face.

it burns with a familiar memory.

one of passion and of fear.

just a touch of acid upon my lips.

if i could escape from this nightmare,

held inside this prision for so many years.

no way to describe the torment.

such a terrifying need to be free.

my hand shakes with sadness.

nothing turns time back around.

why can't i get ahold of this feeling?

reality slipping away so slowly,

until i can no longer grasp onto myself.




i have no choice in this decision.

a pre-made hell designed for me.

why can't i struggle harder to let this go?

is there nothing more for me to fight for?

i wish that it was simple.

this feeling is way too complex for me.

i have found no one to understand it.

killing myself softly inside.

can't you hear my cries?

so how long must i wait?

these answers aren't here.

i feel like i am doomed.

no luck from the start.

just on my way to the end.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

feeling so confused inside. i cannot remember to speak. this death has me curious to all extent. why am i waiting till the end for this?

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