My Unlucky Childhood

Daddy comes home late from "work"

But Mommy knows where he has been.

I sit in the kitchen waiting,

Justing wanting this nightmare to end.

Daddy walks into the room,

And he gives me a hug and kiss.

I know that when I go to bed,

It isn't as easy as this.

Mommy works all the time.

And Daddy likes to drink.

I huddled in the corner alone.

Too upset to even think.

My only friends are my toys,

But even they can't talk me through.

So when Mommy and Daddy fight,

I don't know what to do.

Mommy yells at Daddy,

To stop the alcohol on his breath.

And Daddy yells at Mommy,

To stop working herself up to death.

This house is not my home,

It is just where I live.

I rush myself to forget,

And I lie and say I forgive.

Now I'm a grown girl,

I'm mischeivous and 16.

But I cannot live my life now,

So crushed are all my dreams.

I wanted to function normally.

I wanted to have fun.

But thanks to my rough up bringing,

thanks to what my parents have done....

I cannot have relationships,

And if I do I get scared.

I do not have self esteemed,

I feel so empty and so bare.

Mommy worked my entire life,

And Daddy took me to the bar.

So all I know how to do is be mature,

But look where that has me so far.

I'm very confused with everything,

And so easily I hurt.

I raised myself to be who I thought,

Would get the inner me to work.

I fall apart all the time,

But I don't know how to get help.

I see people so happy now,

My unlucky life was misdelt.

I hate this stupid fucking world!

I hate it just so much!

I will never forget the things,

My parents acted so dumb!

They left me to my own demise,

They walked away when I fell.

I need them when I ran into,

Into my own personal hell.

I iced over my heart,

And let myself become so cold.

Now that I am in intense therapy,

My story is finally told.

My friends and family work with me,

My parents try so hard.

I feel so out of touch with myself,

I feel like I am jarred.

In time I will get better,

Although I'm scared to death, that's true.

I will not become like either of them,

And neither, neither should you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

so trouble, so troubled, and yet, only the begging of a serious misunderstood child....

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