Lonely Girl

I recall a story told once a long time ago of a girl trapped in the middle of her family's ego.

The girl hurt immensley and wanted out so much.

She had longed for just maybe a portion of love's touch.

Destined she thought that she was forced to be alone.

Having thought love wasn't given so she sought to give it on her own.

Her deepest cry was only an inner fear.  

That happiness had died and left her torched here.

To the world she was this girl with enormous pride.

But only to herself she knew what agony she felt inside.

The gift to speak aloud meant to tell of how she felt

Was only burning her up inside, her self-esteem was at melt.

She once read someone words that read,"Be yourself who else is qualified?"

It made her realize how much that pertained to her and just how much of her she denied.

Friends, the siblings God forgot to give her

That's how she thought it from her point of view.

But the ones who abandoned her were the ones she thought she knew.

"How do you befriend someone who doesn't befriend you?" was the question posted on her brain.

How do you give into peace without suffering with pain?

Physical gratification, the criterion to happiness she thought.

So she seeked it in boys and began to flirt.

Later she learned they all except for one wanted to treat her like dirt.

She was the target of critics, the very talk of those who towards her had doubt.

She was burdened and through Jesus Christ wanted a way out.

She often wrote poems, a portal to how she felt. Her uplift was art.  

That was drawn from her hands and done with her heart.

Everyday she felt weak. She just couldn't get strong.

Everything in her life was in a different direction because everything was wrong.

She thought that maybe one day it would be her happiness that someone would arrange.

But she found her self looking at life very strange.

The way things had been before and the way they are now made her wonder if things could get better.

It made her wonder how.

She had this hatred towards everybody eventhough she didn't try.

Hate turned to sorrow because she'd sit still mostly and cry.

She reflected on everything that happened in her life and she did this through a long stare.

She quit herself a long time and treated her existence like it wasn't there.

One in particular treated her like no one and rather treated her like a knave.

She was behind some people but not as to be a friend but a slave.

To be in the presence of someone who loved her was once an ignored desire.

It is to her now an important matter and is now dire.

She was being treated like nothing so that people could cleanse themselves of their faults.

Mad at her they stayed especially when she addressed a certain issue.

Yet they used her as a common source like that of tissue.

Her mother stayed about 3000 miles away and her dad did too

But they were separated in a different state from each other.

She missed her dad alot but mostly her mother.

Over the years she progressed in prayer to forget her guilt

That over the years she slowly built.

She went to church and turned her interest towards God's message to better her life

But it only seemed being away from home and being in church was a get away from the strife.

Her pain, her suffering, and her being victim to neglect has gone too far.

She is internally and externally scorned.

She has on her heart and enormous scar.

Somewhere nearby she heard that there was a solution for everything but her's doesn't seem to be curable.

She isn't in the midst of happiness. Her patience isn't durable.

Everyday she thinks of death, of new ways of dying.

She's tired of the hardships.

Given that she's tired of trying.

Her life is tragical and seriously can't be told.

All there is to know is that she isn't over it.

That this will stay with her until she gets old.

This is my testimony, well only half. I am the one and my life is in one repeated swirl.

I am the one I speak of; I am the lonely girl.

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