Tried And Tested

Soul Poetry

For so very long now, have I tried.

I've tried beyond even

my own calculation of outcome,

knowing the results would be the same as always.

Attempts at mere normality

were simply thrown back in my face,

as had become the recurrent custom of my days.

Never has there been a moment when life had backed off,

or simply gave me room to breathe

without its noxious fumes permeating my air and choking off my throat.

I've been tested, again and again,

never seeming to obtain that passing grade

which would send me forward to the next level of this consciousness.

Even knowing all the answers, from cliff-noted life experiences,

mattered not to the teachers of the fates.

They merely marked me 'unaccounted for', though I was present.

I studied long into the nightmares

cramming for whatever may come hurled my way next,

in preperation for the cryptic final exam of myself.

And yet, though tried and tested, again and again,

I never seem to be able to meet their expectations,

never have been able to accomplish my goals of simple survival.

All knowledge has become useless drivel in my mind,

as the inevitability of it all looms before me-

The apparant predetermination of my failings.

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