Why Should I Bother?



its all in vain-

this foolish hoping,

this grasping at straws.

Every damn time I see that

'brighter tomorrow'

I awake the next morning

to storminess and pelting hails.

Each damn time I hang on

for just awhile longer,

something else comes along

and swipes me off my precarious perch,

sending me tumbling further

into this darkness of my existance.

They can't cure me,

they offer no hope,

only more misery and pain

with each new plight.

Why should I waste any of this paltry

strength I may posess,

on pointless expectations?

Why do I bother clinging on to

a rope laced with slippery grime?

Its a fruitless desire-

to be well and whole ever again.

This is my lot, my predestination,

my fated decree

and I should just learn to accept it,

as is.

Why should I bother

expending energy I no longer have

on such an ineffectual and gainless attempt

at normalcy?

I should just learn to be compliant

and lie prone

while the beast inside

wreaks its merciless tribulation upon me.

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