Searching For My Heart

I know its still there,

just right inside.

But its not that heart,

that I have had to hide.

Its the heart that is scarred,

and afraid of the pain.

Of being hurt once more,

and going through it again.

A safety mechanism,

I turn on to protect.

To keep out the fear,

it likes to collect.

I struggle with doubt,

and try hard to see.

The person people say,

is really me.

It comes from many years,

of feeling so worthless.

Its hard to change,

and let myself surface.

I am trying hard to find it,

to feel once more.

But there will always be the me,

who's afraid and unsure.

So I'm searching for my heart,

the one I use to know.

Searching for something...

but what...I don't know.

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