What I can't say

i would say this to your face
but my pride is preventing me from doing just that
and its making it hard to say
but what i want to say
that i just can't is:

I'm going to miss you when you're gone
I'm going to miss having someone to talk to
someone who understands
and even if they don't they pretend to and listen

I'm going to miss your hugs
even though I don't get them that often
Im gonna miss you laughing at me, oddly
i would get offended usually
but you laughing at me is different than others

i'm going to miss me bugging you to sing for me
and you telling me, "no."
and then smiling at me like you always do
goodbye to that routine soon

I appreciate you always being there for me
even when i've let you down
and you might say i haven't
but i have just now
cause i dont have the mental copassity
to say this to you face to face
in fear that i will cry

I appreciate the attention you give to me
it feels like you're the only one who cares sometimes
and you might say im wrong
but that's honestly how i feels
most of the time.

i'm sorry i haven't always been there
like you were for me
you might say, "its okay"
but honestly?
i wish i could of been there to stop your pain

its gonna suck
going to church on tuesday
to complete silence
and walking into the worship room
and not seeing you sitting there playing

its going to be lonely
sitting at the piano
singing my heart out
and looking into the music stands reflection
to see you not there standing behind me, listening

but what im going to miss the most
is having a friend there
you might say, "you have Brittany, Jacob and Dustin"
but honestly?
you are my only one there.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i started choking up while typing this :'(

feel free to comment.

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KindredSpirit's picture

It's a feeling that you

Have to feel

 To feel it.

 The only thing that I have read from you

 And had to comment

 Take CARE


Seraphim's picture

Everything I need to say...

Everything I need to say... but I can't find the words... I remember the elation when I first read this, but now I'm more confused.


Post Tenebras Spero Lucem

Irockpoker's picture


Everyone who reads this shall relate... You couldn't have said it better :) great job :) the way we feel is more powerful when put on a piece of paper :) thank you for sharing :)