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Loveless and a Loss of Time
I had to see a hole
In my mothers head
And no, she wasn’t sat comfortable in bed
She was in a bathtub because that’s classic mom,
She was worried about the mess,
I saw inside where the brains should be
Where she would think about doing what she did
But it’s also where she thought about me too
I saw all the way through, the first thought
And the last
I could see way far back
Where she first thought about having me
While taking care of my brother
About vacations we took in the winter
And cookouts we had in the summer
In that hole is where she would think of what advice to give me
Or about how to avoid sadness and loss
But while taking me to school she would cry
And that’s all she would do for a while,
Cry
She cried about Dad
About love and the love she lacks
Through the years that’s the way it sat,
Loveless and a loss of time
Time I could have used
And the time we missed out on
If her sadness was a dog it would have bit her,
Didn’t matter though
She walked that dog all the way to the end
And it never missed a meal
Fed well but it didn’t treat her well
She fed it with pain, pills, and pictures
Photo albums stale with sunshine
She let that dog sit in the dark and wonder
Why no one loved her
And it was self fullfilled
Snapping at her hands
Keeping us all at bay
To put it short,
I saw a hole in my mom’s head
while she laid on a metal table,
This isn’t romantic
It’s a warning on the side of the package
Skull and cross bones on the label
Another number on a stat sheet
Stagnant
A dog that still howls hungry
In the dark places
Waiting
