The Deciever

The despair closes in

it begins to close it's fist around my heart

even as it slowly tears my soul apart.

I tell lies to those around me

and sometimes even myself

telling myself I'm being beneficient

but does deceit truly have merrit?

I paint them a picture of happiness and joy

I tell them all they wish to hear.

Inside me everything I once held dear

and in my mind could see crystal clear

is now, riddled with decay

hidden by shadow and so unclear.

All the while, the pain inside increases

the light decreases

and the anger held in check

just under my skin begs for release.

The despair closes in

it buries hooks into my skin.

The rage fills my blood

the red flood overtakes my mind

replaces my vision.

The blood throbbing in my head screams at me.

It screams at me to find someone, to show someone

the pain that eats away at my humanity.

For a short time

inflict the pain instead of just bearing it.

For at times like these I am far past caring

my heart and soul lie barren...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Sometimes the shit life piles on you becomes so heavy, it's all you can do not to be broken by it.  Times when all your thoughfullness and caring, seem weaknesses.  Times when the rage thunders through your soul so hard, the only thing you can think of is destroying something, just as the world has tried to destroy you.

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