So hollow and damp at the core of his eyes,

Seeking a soul to most a bountiful surprise,

His thoughts like day but murky as lies,

Another unpleasant and mutating surprise.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Not really sure what im doing so posted a little something something would love some feedback on all of my errors.

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Xmiztertamantx's picture

Nice start! nice start! I

Nice start! nice start! I kinda  feel the emotion peeking out in your writing. Keep it up!

Biffy's picture


Thanks, never written anything like this before so always nice to get some positive feedback!

Xmiztertamantx's picture

Same's nice getting

Same's nice getting feedback

allets's picture

Welcome to PP

Keep writing, you have the nack ~~A~~



Biffy's picture


Just saw this!