Is he looking at me,

why? eyes peer, you see?

Like being followed,

an unknown force.

I feel paranoid,

but it's real,

Eyes that follow,

every movement you can feel.

Knocking in back,

like a coal miner,

always letting me know

they're there.

A black cloud hovers above,

no chance, no love.

Sick and sad,

lost and confused,

I feel empty and used.

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halfbaykdbrownie's picture

hey. so i just read this piece and i really like it.. i like the metaphors and and i like the rhyme and how its not forced rhyme. in terms of critique? I would change the last line [which i love, by the way, i think ive used the same line or very similar a time or two] from: "i feel empty and used"
to "i feel empty, i feel used" or "feeling empty, feeling used" ... just my thoughts. =]