after you (my life as a succubus)

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After Death

our love was like the ocean that made us.  

huge, immense, beautiful, turbulent, raw, eternal.

our love was the binding of souls each to each

in turns brotherly, sisterly, dark, mundane, and maturnal.

 

our love was constant and proud as any king

unconditional and obvious, i'd give you anything.

such joy never lasts, and hope must be lost.

such love has a price, and it's a very high cost.

 

they say a minute can change everything.  they're right.

one phone call turned every daylight to night.  

if love must be tested i came to the call.

before god and everyone i gave you my all.

 

but nothing i did could sway lady fate. 

on the fifth day, the worst day, you became the late.

i'll never forget the day it all changed.

it was the day my whole life rearranged.

 

that's how i knew our souls had exchanged.

i lost in me something childhood had ingrained.

all that was left was a huge gaping hole

and tattered edges of what was left of my soul.

 

i was briefly psychic, a bewildered empath,

feeling the beyond of strangers in my path.  

but then i was empty and hungry and cold.

i felt myself eating other bodies and souls.

 

like a horrible monster i preyed on the weak.

decay and disease provided nourishment i seek.

the fetuses of women called to me most.

all that i fought still brought an unwitting host.

 

i stood on their weaknesses even as i fought myself.

i was eating their disease and stealing their health.

still the hole ached in its eternal place.

still even strangers saw the sorrow in my face.

 

i started sucking on lightbulbs to save the innocent.

jittery, electric, nervous, artificial, body dissent.

my soul craved the edge of life and death 

but artificiality left it tweaky and bereft.

 

then my monster took a much darker turn. 

love could steal pieces that life couldn't earn.

pharmacology and sex can take more than is given, 

and hell can fill anything left empty by heaven.

 

unwitting, unaware, i swallowed a piece of a soul.

i felt it, immediate, a salve on that hole.

now my soul is nothing but a patchwork quilt.

i suck at these creatures and yet feel no guilt.

 

there is no number, no amount could replace you.

and no matter what, i would never erase you.

but each of these fools who bows to my wit

erases the pain of losing you a little bit.

 

and knowing the cosmos as only witches do, 

i always think first, i know you and thank you.

and in the cycle of life and death, circles and spheres,

you and i are only us, right now and right here.

 

i eat of you and take you and will not give you up,

nor could you stop me if you knew on which i sup.

but all that which is given first must be earned,

then honored and cherished, loved and hence returned,

 

to each of you fools held under my sway,

take comfort in the fact we'll meet again one day.

and next time i will owe you a debt to the dark

to be paid in full til it erase any mark.

 

and i hope that, each to each, you reply in the time

you need it most, and it fills a need as deep as mine.

and i hope, in that moment, you stand a foot in each world,

and i hope in that moment the life's mystery is unfurled.

 

eat of my soul and know of my sorrow.

dissolve away what is in you that's hollow.

for these strangers i will give up what is lost,

for a debt is not paid until you know what it cost.

 

and a pain spent over lifetimes and very slowly eased

is the feeling of needed peace and demons being released.

it's the moment of giving and sacrifice that makes us.

and in life and death, it's the devil that takes us.

in the darkness before the dawn it's hope that forsakes us, 

but from the ashes only we can remake us.

 

 

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KindredSpirit's picture

Yep

I was right.

The girl is good

Even when she is being bad.

KS

The comment made me come here

and_hera_met_zeus's picture

?

do u mean i'm good=skilled or good=ethical? lol

KindredSpirit's picture

Good =skilled

Like mad skills.

And smart too.

KS

I like your sense of humor too.

Not in this poem though.

This was your darkest poem I read.

and_hera_met_zeus's picture

:D

thanks!! i have at least one darker one... depends on what u think of as dark, though.

KindredSpirit's picture

And I meant you

Have a sense of humor by your comments 

And such.

This poem was long and turned dark.

I'll read it again in the future.

Half the time I think we are afraid

To put it out.

I don't like to think to much.

It takes away my rawness.

KS

KindredSpirit's picture

Like this poem

Things kinda come together

And then it is difficult to seperate.

Really like the way you think.

KS

and_hera_met_zeus's picture

:)

thanks!!!  

SSmoothie's picture

Th

This one in particular has always been my favourite of yours


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

and_hera_met_zeus's picture

:)

thanks!  weirdly, the only reason i joined post poems is i was scared to show  that poem to anyone i knew.  ha ha!!!

nightlight1220's picture

Very well written. Reminds me

Very well written. Reminds me of the learning process, and I got to the last line and thought...well, no, for so many people it doesn't end that way, because they allow other 'things' and people to create who they are out of sheer desperation to just want to be 'something' or 'someone'. They never really look at what they truly and very simply, 'are'.  but it is still a really awesome read!


...and he asked her, "do you write poetry? Because I feel as if I am the ink that flows from your quill."

"No", she replied, "but I have experienced it. "

 

and_hera_met_zeus's picture

thank you! and i suppose if

thank you! and i suppose if you want to argue the content of my poem, it has triggered some sort of emotional response, so i'll take that as a compliment too, lol.

nightlight1220's picture

yes indeed it is, and a well

yes indeed it is, and a well deserved one at that! thank you for sharing. loved it Smile


...and he asked her, "do you write poetry? Because I feel as if I am the ink that flows from your quill."

"No", she replied, "but I have experienced it. "

 

justanotherscreename's picture

This is such a good poem. The

This is such a good poem. The words fit together so perfectly to form the story you are trying to tell. You are able to portray your thoughts, feelings, emotions (or lack of) as they turn and change and alter the views on life that you hold. A genuine work of art.

and_hera_met_zeus's picture

thank you.  i'm glad you

thank you.  i'm glad you enjoyed it.  this poem has gotten the most attention of all my works.  i find it strange because this is the one i was most afraid to show anyone.  

AquarianMale's picture

 I generally do not like

 

I generally do not like rhyme poetry. Mostly (I feel) it detracts from the pure flow of engraved emotions. However, I did relish this one. The title was rather appropriate to some of the dark, ghoulish, and hideous imagery you created. I loved it. Indeed, at times during the reading, there is a seemingly morbid fascination with the macabre or cadaverous metaphors you use to describe your feelings. I prized the “dark depths” you generated through your artistic design, centered on your amazing craft for conceptualizing pictures. There are hollow textures, expressive wombs, and a prevailing spirit of formidable passion - in your writing that could only come from the heart of a compelling, yet highly sensitive woman. Still, I would enjoy seeing all the jingles and rhyme burned along with the ashes in the last line. Nevertheless, I appreciated this reflective piece. Stay strong!

 

and_hera_met_zeus's picture

thank u!! i appreciate the

thank u!! i appreciate the full analysis of strenghts and weaknesses.  i will have to try releasing rhyme and possibly embracing rhythm instead on my next piece.  

HCE's picture

Disturbingly Beautiful

The imagery in this is so increadible! Love is a dog from hell as old buk would say. 

and_hera_met_zeus's picture

thanks :) i was actually

thanks :) i was actually nervous this one was so long it would bore people lol

and_hera_met_zeus's picture

true story lol

true story lol