Not Meeting My Expectations

Folder: 
Vintage Words

.

The long telling cut down

to the short  version means that

rose garden you will never promised

was full of thorns anyway.

.
If you were not being so

high and wealthy, you might

have seen two idealists, loyal

as puppies, not being paid

from tight fists.

.

I did not do it for you, I did it

all for me. I look back and smile

at all the freebies, the gas burned,

the ink cartridges spent to advance

literary art venues.

.

I smile and would do it all again

exactly the same, if it had not been

for all the bad ugliness of cracked streets,

the absence of direction.

.

Instead, there would have been nice

vacations around the globe, new shoes

and camping. I would not be me and you

would not be you because of me.

.

allets

09-18-12

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I seldom write about poetry editing. This is mind cleansing.

View allets's Full Portfolio
Starward's picture

Bravo!

The manipulation of language in this poem is among the most adroit I have seen in years!


Starward

[* /+/ ^]

allets's picture

Adroitness Back

I have just gotten back to reading comments and found so many from you.Wow dow! I am glad you are enjoying the work I have posted. I am working on autobiography and researching with family...but I will tap into all of your work because like satishverma on Starlite cafe I need a good read every so often. When? Hmmm. it is about time and having too many names/titles. I love writing is the all...Time is closing. I'm gettin too aged etc. Time to get in the last words...Lady A



Lady A

 

battlepink's picture

I'm really enjoying your

I'm really enjoying your work.

Although I felt some struggle, at the same time this made me feel peaceful. Thank you for sharing.

allets's picture

Peaceful Struggle

Yes! It is about tension. Ideas at war from the ideation matrices. Closure. I seek closure because the world is tumbling again...Lady A



Lady A

 

SSmoothie's picture

INCREDIBLE!!!!!! Profound!

INCREDIBLE!!!!!! Profound! Wonderful! I felt so many lines in my heart! I am beside myself with deep understanding and a reslease of sorts, thankyou for writing this beauty! Hugs SS


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

allets's picture

Profundity

I was feeling particularly deep today. Sent a four page single spaced letter to an inmate who wrote to me. I think I sent my life's story. Glad you liked poem. I wrote it fast with a few edits - You are the incredible one - Lady A



Lady A